Photo: Nathan Alle
Troilus and Cressida, Friends of Peterhouse Theatre, 27th – 29th November, Co-Directed by Wei Tzen Sam and Xavier Buxton
*
This was very nearly a review entitled ‘The First Half of Troilus and Cressida’ but my conscience made me stay. It showcased a standard of acting so dire it was as though an ambitious primary school teacher had scrapped the nativity in favour of a Shakespeare. Sure, there are the kids who have potential but they are so far off fulfilling it and got lost in a really dire, nervous crowd.
The absolute bottom of this deep pit was Xavier Buxton’s terrible, anxious Pandarus, with his upper arms stuck to his sides and forearms waving madly. Incredibly this is the same Xavier Buxton who co-directed the show, which makes its rare merits quite remarkable. Some of the actors barely knew their lines, pacing up and down with scripts in the interval. So much of what they did know was muttered or inaudible, said to the back wall, from behind a thick grey beard or in a quiet and ridiculous Italian accent. Mary Matthias’ hysterical Cassandra was completely incomprehensible, raving like a mad drunk. Some were above the low average; Tom Smith’s Ajax and James Barwise’s Achilles were good, Joe Hardy’s Caliban like Thersites was really engaging and though Will Seaward’s Agamemnon stood out starkly, with a booming voice that would terrify the RSC, he was welcome relief. Over-acting was an improvement on no acting. The design was clever for a low budget production with some nice costumes, though the girls playing men’s skinny jeans, fitted blazers and waisted belts felt a bit noncommittal.
The first use of music was an hour in and then, inexplicably, it was the kind of jazz you might hear when you’re put on hold or in a lift. When Pandarus and Cressida watch the soldiers march past the squeaking sound of the door opening made it impossible to take seriously. In fact there were lots of moments I had to stifle giggles, sometimes unsuccessfully like when two characters walked on at the wrong cue, turned around and left. At the interval a stagehand came on to tell us it was the interval and where the bar, which we ‘would need’, was. I couldn’t quite believe the crew was publically proclaiming how badly we would want a drink. Astoundingly she came back to warn us there was a Bop on, explaining the sinister Santa we found hidden away by the loos pulling scantily clad Santa girls onto his knee. The stagehand made another appearance at the end to tell us it was the end, as if I didn’t already have my coat on.
On the Camdram page Troilus and Cressida proclaims, ‘Come on all you lazy English thesps- this is by far the best way to revise for your Shakespeare exam.’ It’s not. I want to say it’s a new take on the theory that if you put enough monkeys in a room with enough typewriters one day they will write Shakespeare – if you put enough people on stage for enough time there will be some moments that resemble acting. But, I will concede that’s a little bit harsh.
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I attended the performance this evening and feel that this article is totally unjustified. I thoroughly enjoyed the performance. Perhaps if LOTTIE UNWIN had wished to present a mature and experienced review of the play she might not have attended the first performance last night – a choice most people made as it is a well-known fact that, unless wishing to totally pan a performance, that amateur actors can need a warm up performance. Furthermore, I have rarely read a more bitchy review, even in REAL newspapers. Personally, I, and my fellow audience members this evening found Patroclus very amusing, Xavier's performance heroic (bearing in mind his large responsibilities as co-director) and am interested to know exactly how the MAD Cassandra is expected to be played – quote Virgil 'the RAVINGS of Cassandra.' At least Will Seaward's stellar performance was found just about acceptable by the Tab's absurd standards. (PLEASE remember in future that you are an UNESTABLISHED student website reviewing amateur student performances.)
The set was perhaps a bit bare and I agree that the lack of music was a little disappointing. However, this is the first time I have turned to the Tab for a review and it shall CERTAINLY BE THE LAST!!! Thumbs up for the cast of Troilus and Cressida and a distinctive thumbs down for the gratuitous criticisms from the tabs very own LOTTIE UNWIN.
Wow, someone doesn't react to CRITICISM well. Well done on your slightly DISTUBRING capitalisation, have you CONSIDERED writing FOR The TAB?!?!?!?!?
Charlotte,
Your mental mate. Calm down.
… and by way of note, the tab is already pretty well established as a reviewing body and doesn't need your custom I'm sure. Especially if you are such a mentalist.
p.s Hope your mental ravings won you a shag with at least one cast member…
It was Miles Davis babe. You know some great lifts.
Charlotte,
I reviewed the show on the first night in order to give a prompt response – Xavier specifically asked that it was published by Saturday, considering the show only runs for 3 nights. Reviewers are almost always asked to first night performances, sometimes previews so while I appreciate actors do need a warm up performance, I cannot make this a qualification in everything I write. So far as Cassandra, I couldn't hear what she was saying at all.
I only present an opinion and at no point propose I will have the same view as every audience member. I am pleased to hear you enjoyed the night more than I did.
If people are made to pay for a performance they should expect EXACTLY the same standard whenever they see it.
Although perhaps if Ms. C.Haliban (that's shakespeare banter there darling) is willing to RAVE about how bad the review was perhaps she should WATCH some PLAYS before COMMENTING. I saw this play – it was of the standard you would expect of a year ten GCSE drama group and has no place on the university scene. One star is generous.
Shakespearean banter? That's harsh an uncalled for!
yeah, what a fucking bitch
WHAT! Why didn't I get to be in it! This is a direct assault on MY DIVINITY! If I'm going to appear at all in a play I at least want to be slated in the review! I CRAVE FAME!!!!!!!
I find it quite difficult to believe that Lottie Unwin and I had been in the same audience – frankly I think it is more her review than this play that deserves this single star. Spurious comments such as 'the squeaking sound of the door opening', 'the quiet and ridiculous Italian accent' (about an actor who, perhaps ridiculously enough, happens to be Italian), the 'inexplicable' criticism about the lack of music (does the play claim also to be a musical?), and worst, the half a paragraph devoted to the stagehand and the bar which attempts to tie the performance in with the 'sinister Santa by the loos', surely should have no space in a review given seriously to assessing a performance.
But of course, perhaps Lottie Unwin would say, 'but there wasn't anything else in the play to talk about!'. It seems clear to me, however, that any reviewer which concentrates so heavily on such peripherals has clearly refused to engage with the play on any other level but the superficial. Personally I thought there was much of worth in the performance, if Lottie Unwin could gather up the stamina to engage with a play that has historically been recognised as unpalatable. Character-counting like Lottie Unwin alone, I would say that Troilus, Aeneas, Thersites, Agamemnon and Paris/Patroclus put in an exceptional performance, that Mary Matthias's Cassandra was clarity itself to everyone who listened, that the minimalist set was imaginatively handled, the direction and choreography (especially of the chaotic battle scenes) well-calculated and effected, and the highlight of the play, the shadow-acting of 5.2, something I would pay to watch again.
Regardless of how shoddy this production was (and I saw it on opening night, and needed a substantial glass of wine to persuade myself that the second half would be worth staying for), I really enjoyed this review. Whilst it may be upsetting to read negative feedback on a piece of theatre that you enjoyed, or that a friend of yours has been involved in, surely one must respect a reviewer for giving an honest opinion. Unwin's comments are not 'superficial', but measured, and asserted with a strong sense of wit and style that make enjoyable reading. Keep up the good work.
I went to see this play on the first night as well and have to say that I am fairly amazed that Will enoyed it. I think I spent the first half in disbelief that anything could be so terribly acted, then the second half appalled that I was paying for the experience. In fact it was so terrible it made me wonder whether they had decided to be experimental and do it as a farcial comedy rather than a tragedy. I was under the impression that the audience agreed with me, as it was deadly silent through most of the jokes and there was an uncomfortable pause after the terribly delivered final lines which suggested that no one knew, or dared to believe, that it was finally over.
Fair enough some of the actors had some talent, Thersites, I would agree with lottie and Will was very good. Agamemnon was not really my cup of tea, he was a bit overtheatrical, but I could appreciate his skill. However the others were hardly "exceptional". Merely being able to remember your lines does not count as exceptional talent for me, but maybe I am not "engaing" with the play enough.
Regardless of how shoddy this article was (and I saw it on publication, and needed a substantial glass of wine to persuade myself that the second paragraph would be worth staying for), I really enjoyed this play. Whilst it may be upsetting to read negative feedback on a piece of journalism that you enjoyed, or that a friend of yours has been involved in, surely one must respect a reader for giving an honest opinion. The play was not superficial, but measured, and asserted with a strong sense of wit and style that make enjoyable watching. Keep up the good work.
Chill out it's just a fucking play. If you knew the people in it it was probably pretty enjoyable, if not less so. Everyone I'm sure had fun doing it and should relax about reviews. Lottie's opinion doesn't really matter, it's just an opinion and one she is entitled to. If you thought differently start writing some reviews.
Right, I'm going to crack out a wank, have some lunch and write some blank verse.