Review: Smoker

by Milo Yiannopoulos
on 10th March 2010
Image Post #16135

Tuesday 9th, 11.00 at The ADC Theatre.


The Footlights' Smoker audience is the most obliging, generous and compliant audience of any comedy show I’ve ever seen. To the point of complicity. At least at the Howler, the acts know if they’ve been shit; at a Smoker, everyone is applauded with the same raucous enthusiasm you’d get from a room filled with your friends. Which is, of course, exactly how the Smoker audience is constituted.

It dawned on me yesterday, as I cast my eye over the bar in the ADC, how dreadfully close-knit the Cambridge comedy ecosystem is. You only had to listen to the “Darling, how are you?”, the “Sweetheart, lovely to see you!” and the “You were wonderful, babe!” to realise it. I’ve always hated ostentatious mutual admiration, but the luvviedom in that bar was something to behold. Lanky sycophants in skinny jeans, wanky cardigans and retro specs. How very predictable, and how very tiresome.

Every Smoker is identical to the last. The same acts, the same jokes, the same fucking ukulele. I can barely be bothered to comment on this one. Even the female acts have me outmanoeuvred: once they’ve come off stage, there’s no room to wheel out a trademark misogynistic quip, because they’ve done all the work for me with sets that hang off little more than how crap it is to be a woman. Yeah, I suppose it must be. Get over it.

It’s worth praising Jacob Sharpe, I suppose, who’s the highlight of any show he’s in. When I wasn’t salivating over his good looks, I was admiring the quality of his material and the fluency of his performance. But I’ve come to expect more from Abi Tedder. Pulling silly faces and shuffling around nervously on stage will get you a Ritalin prescription in no time, but it won’t get you a far as a stand-up any more. And tone down the Ricky Gervais nods, for fuck’s sake.

Other familiar faces – Phil Wang, Ahir Shah – turned in serviceable performances, though none had time in the three minutes available to execute a proper set. A few one-liners, then off. Shame. The whole format is problematic, really: endless little monologues that go nowhere, with imperfect punch-lines, abruptly terminated. I don’t like it.

But like I said, it’s the audience that’s the real problem. Laugh at good comedy, by all means. But that screeching from the man in E5, at little more than the expectation of humour, drove me barking bloody mad. (Then again, starting a show at 11pm – when most of us are already half cut – is a recipe for obnoxious hyenas.)

The fact that I have such little to say after an hour of comedy speaks for itself. But the Smoker always sells out, and has done for years. Why? It shouldn’t: the acts aren’t funny enough; it’s too expensive for such a short show; the bar at the ADC is pricier than, say, the Wolfson Howler’s, and the people there are unbearably pleased with themselves.

This is the point at which my editor will be expecting me to supply a “but.” But I can’t. If you're not one of the Footlights posse, don't bother trying to get tickets. The money's better spent on booze. If you are… well, I don't need to tell you book in advance, do I? You probably have a reminder set already. And you'll probably be foaming at the mouth by now, too – so by all means leave your abuse in the comments below.

Leave a comment

  • Joe
    March 10, 2010

    sounds like a night out with the London tech scene at Adam St


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  • Anon
    March 10, 2010

    I'm not going to pass any comment on the show or your review. I only want to express extreme annoyance at the fact that you were texting for the whole show, which was fucking distracting. And I know you weren't taking notes on it because you also had a notepad and pen. Tool.


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  • Rob
    March 10, 2010

    So you *were* there Milo – "Lanky sycophants in skinny jeans, wanky cardigans and retro specs."


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  • Phil
    March 10, 2010

    How horrendously bitter.


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  • jimbo88
    March 10, 2010

    At last!!!

    Someone's sticking it to those Arrogant, Rude and Self-Assertive footlights.

    with arrogance, rudeness and self-assertion

    hang on…


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  • March 10, 2010

    Cardigans I will confess to (though mine aren't wanky, they're Armani). But skinny jeans? I defy you to produce a photograph.


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  • Dan
    March 10, 2010

    This review is cack.


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  • Anon
    March 10, 2010

    Milo just wants to be loved…


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  • Anonnynonnyno
    March 10, 2010

    Favourite writers: Nietzsche; Baudelaire; Thomas Mann; D. H. Lawrence; Goethe; Schopenhauer; James Joyce; Philip Larkin; Blake; Shakespeare; Schiller; Kierkegaard; Homer; Marquis de Sade

    Now you are a man who knows modern comedy.


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  • Anon
    March 10, 2010

    "The fact that I have such little to say after an hour of comedy speaks for itself." Yes, you are an incompetent plank. The Smoker was a magnificent conclusion to the Lent Term, and I was in hysterics. The atmosphere is always buzzing and cohesive – not so much "close-knit" as supportive of the people who actually have the balls to go up there in the first place.

    All those endorsements suggest to me that a little somebody is at Wolfson? "At least at the Howler, the acts know if they’ve been shit". I think that little somebody has a big chip on his shoulder. Your review tells me much more about you. No other acts were as good as the man over whom I was "salivating"; his "quality" and "fluency". I'm not denying the fact that Jacob was brilliant, but do I sense a little sycophancy? Enough said, you incompetent plank.


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  • Joe
    March 10, 2010

    People congratulating performers after the show – how absolutely disgusting!

    This review is unbearably arrogant.

    We get it – you hate Footlights (how controversial of you!) – so go write a review of a show you hadn't decided to turn your nose up to before you even stepped into the theatre.


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  • James
    March 10, 2010

    I thought the Smoker was great! This reviewer has got it all wrong.


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  • Craig
    March 10, 2010

    Which bits did you actually, if any, like? Did you really think it was ALL bad??


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  • Joe
    March 10, 2010

    What an arrogant and pointless review.

    You may hate Footlights for being self-congratulatory and smug, perhaps you should audition – you seem to have that down to a fine art yourself.


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  • My First Smoker
    March 11, 2010

    Sounds like someone needs a hug, or a slap in the face.
    Silly little gnome! Awwww…


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  • Stop It.
    March 11, 2010

    This is an ignorant and prejudicial review. It seems to be based more on your impressions of the fashion sense of the people in the bar than the show itself. I'm sorry that skinny jeans and cardigans offend you so much, but are there really more of these in the ADC than anywhere else in Cambridge? I haven't noticed them.


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  • March 11, 2010

    Actually, this does warrant a reply. I am indeed at Wolfson, as a paragraph that was edited out of the review for reasons of space made clear. I should have added a disclaimer. Thanks.


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  • March 11, 2010

    Anyone in doubt about just how weak and derivative the comedy at the Smoker is needs only look at this YouTube video:

    [youtube dLjTwh6s53c http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLjTwh6s53c youtube]

    Remember Ben Ashenden's performance? Can YOU tell the difference? In fact, this isn't even derivation – it's copying, plain and simple. Why pay a fiver to watch this when you could turn on the telly and see it done by pros?


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  • The Truth
    March 11, 2010

    Students who have the courage, skill and enthusiasm to write and perform their own comedy deserve to be better reviewed than this.


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  • Ironic Jimmy
    March 11, 2010

    This is a really well written review.


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  • Sarcastic Tony
    March 11, 2010

    Milo seems an intelligent, well informed guy.


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  • Milo2
    March 11, 2010

    In fact, this is closer to the mark:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNThOQIzWSM


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  • hmmm
    March 11, 2010

    hardly representative of the whole thing though.
    grind your axe somewhere else milo, you bitter individual.
    And "though mine aren't wanky, they're Armani".

    oh dear oh dear….


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  • Voice of Reason
    March 11, 2010

    hahah. Milo is a really funny guy. He should perform at the smokers. hahah.

    I reckon he would be better than everyone else.

    hhahahah

    also he's a cunt


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  • J8mes M0zz8rin0
    March 11, 2010

    that's some darn funny stuff.

    Oi Milo, chill out old chap, this isn't a 'lets be a fucking boring prick' day is it?

    although I take your point about paying to see something live. Your right, we should stay at home. Or at least, you certainly should.


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  • inane
    March 11, 2010

    all friendly banter


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  • SarahCam07
    March 11, 2010

    Smokers are made up of about 20 skits, sketches and stand-up, with over 30 performers. Calling a whole Smoker 'weak' and 'derivative' because one act resembled something off of the telly is like saying music -yes, the whole of it- isn't very good because you've just heard a Peter Andre song.

    And hey, where else do us students 'derive' inspiration from if not our elders? I'm sure you've plagarised in your time…maybe read a self-indulgent, insubstantial review and nicked a line or two…


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  • Not the Truth
    March 12, 2010

    I like Milo


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  • jimmy
    March 12, 2010

    This is original! Ohhhh wait, this is an attempt to get all the attention Chloe Mashiter's smoker review got…. how awfully sad, dear dear…


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  • objective liar
    March 12, 2010

    HANG ABOUT !!!

    Milo is a great guy. He's got taste, and is liked by lots of people.

    the TAB should come to him for reviews in the future

    This is my opinion.


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  • Titter Bran
    March 12, 2010

    I had skinny jeans on. I'm sorry. So sorry.


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  • OuEstJim
    March 12, 2010

    What happened to 'Jim' from Chloe Mashiter's review?


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  • jake
    March 13, 2010

    maybe there's a little Jim in all of us.


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