25th – 26th February, 7.30, Mumford Theatre. £4-6.
RACHEL CUNLIFFE would recommend the Cambridge University Ballet Club’s show, only if you like ballet.
I am a dancer at heart, if not actually at Cambridge (thank you fractured ribs). While I understand that two hours of classical ballet on a Thursday night (what is it about Thursdays? Everyone always seems so dead) isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I was pretty excited. I realise that for most the word ‘ballet’ conjures up memories of being forced into pink tutus at age six by over-enthusiastic mothers who refused to listen when we said we’d all rather learn karate and little enthusiasm, but bear with me here.
The first thing to mention about the Cambridge University Ballet Club’s double bill, entitled The Seasons: Variations, and Tchaikovsky’s ‘Sleeping Beauty’, is that it’s at the Mumford Theatre in ARU though I have never seen so much Cambridge stash in one room. Seriously guys, what are we trying to prove here? Though the big stage meant less clumsy crowding and tripping over point-shoes), the performance started half an hour late, which made the first number a bit of an anti-climax; pretty costumes, but lots of nervous shuffling.
I’ll fight the urge to get technical, and just say that it improved a lot from there. The first half was a montage of different dances loosely representing the seasons, with dancers ranging from total beginners to girls who must have been dancing since they were old enough to stand straight. Obviously, the more technically impressive dancing came from the advanced class, with a special mention to soloist Emma Rhule who really picked up the pace after the average-at-best opening number. But that’s not to say the less-experienced dancers weren’t thoroughly entertaining. Despite out-of-time steps and shaky posture they were enjoying every second of it and that really came across, especially during some innovative choreography with pink umbrellas (my personal favourite).
The highlight, however, was an abridged version of the classic Sleeping Beauty, which was beautifully choreographed, and far more ambitious than I’d expected from a student production. To keep things short and sweet, the star of the show was not the perfectly pink Princess Aurora or the simpering sweet Lilac Fairy (though both were terrific dancers), but the Wicked Fairy Carabosse. I was rooting for the villain as soon as she crashed the christening in a whirlwind of jealous energy (she ought to have been invited, it’s only polite), and her dramatic miming in character shoes made a welcome contrast to the classic waltzes and adagios, lovely though they were.
Would I recommend this to non-dancers? If you’re interested ballet, then sure. It’s a slick, lively performance with some very talented dancers. But to those of you who think ‘pas de bourrée’ sounds like a type of cheese, probably best to sit this one out, and spend Friday night at Clare Cellars with everyone else.
MILO YIANNOPOULOS was not impressed.
It must be dreadful to be a ballet mum. Imagine it: watching from behind a rictus grin as your portly offspring flounders about on stage like an autistic hippo, sighing, “You looked so beautiful, darling,” through painfully gritted teeth while praying that little Lizzie will lose interest before the next big show.
Because, let’s be frank, amateur ballet is horrendous. It’s not like playing the piano, which can be executed perfectly well, albeit at a more modest level, by novices. No: if you’re a ballerina, you’re a ballerina, and you’re judged accordingly. And ballet critics, even more than classical music critics, can be savage.
Which is why it was so awful to see the valiant efforts of the Cambridge University Ballet Club sabotaged by appallingly shoddy production values, the like of which I haven’t seen since Sunset Beach. The most important component of any ballet performance, beside the dancers, is the music. Tchaikovsky was so hilariously and haphazardly vomited from the speakers that it twice prompted loud chortles from the row behind me. There were abrupt endings, weird volume changes and I swear we heard the CD skip during the penultimate piece of the first half.
But we can’t place all the blame with the production team for the audible sigh of relief after the final curtain. The director too seems to have sleepwalked through rehearsals: neither the more accomplished ballerinas nor the novices came off well after ill-judged and brutal juxtapositions of fluent performances with mass waddling and teetering from the less confident dancers. Which brings me to my other complaint: why were so many of these women so large?
At one point, I don’t think there was a ballerina on stage below size 18. Now don’t get me wrong, I know we’re growing as a nation, and sure, big can be beautiful, but honestly, I never expected to see a ballerina with bingo wings. (I should point out that it’s not just the ladies of the Ballet Club who ought to lay off the pies: one of the male ballerinas looked like he’d been preparing for months for The Sleeping Beauty – by eating deep-fried Mars bars.)
In the interests of fairness, I must tell you the improbably tall lilac fairy went down a storm with the audience, and there was a delightful little set-piece in the first half that involved pink umbrellas and a cute girl I recognise from the English faculty. The staging was pretty good, too: simple, but effective, even if transitions were generally over-long.
In fact I wish that we’d seen a bit more from the umbrella girl, and perhaps that camp couple dressed in black, who were very good. And, as I’ve said already, I wish the Ballet Club would put a bit more thought into how their less talented, but no less enthusiastic, dancers are presented.
More than anything, I do so wish Sleeping Beauty had shaved her armpits.
Well I just like to say to both "journalist" here, SHAME ON YOU! What is the downright offensive comment about sizes. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT and you call yourselves journalists? Various points to consider:__1. The production was done by amateurs (as I hope you know) who gave up their time to do this therefore they ARE NOT professional hence bodies and technique are not perfect (THEY DO IT BECAUSE THEY JUST LOVE TO DANCE)____
2. "At one point, I don’t think there was a ballerina on stage below size 18. " ABSOLUTELY FALSE and offensive what were you expecting to achieve with this comment? A cheap laugh?
Addendum to the previous comment….
3. Comment about the man (which one did you come to the same show matey)?
4. "More than anything, I do so wish Sleeping Beauty had shaved her armpits." What comment is this again I say check ALL OF YOUR FACTS. Did you know she was injured and still managed to dance?
5. As for the experience that the dancers had not all of them have been dancing since they were little girls, some started as adults and by that I mean only 4 or 5 years ago.
6. Did you know how much reahearsal the dancers had?
My review for your article: "Not even worth reading"!
[...] Sleeping Beauty In Uncategorized on March 1, 2010 at 1:11 pm First published in The Cambridge Tab, 26 February [...]
I hazard a guess that the virulently ignorant writer of the second article is a complete and utter egosexual who would sleep with the nasty men from 'The Mask' so as to get closer to sleeping with himself….If one cannot appreciate the efforts of these fine performers at the grass roots then why take the time to burn and mow their efforts to the ground? This was a showcase for beginners to revel in the adrenaline rush of performance. Everyone has to start somewhere and I sincerely hope that this particular journalist's atrocious and flowery efforts at comedy are nipped in the bud, weeded out and thrown into the compost before he maliciously cuts down other blossoming performers and chides innocent techies. Somebody pop the obscene lilo of this malevolent Milo by Jove.
Milo, not a single word about the gorgeous choreography. Some of the music of the first half was challenging to say the least and the choreography showed great musicality. For your information, their Sleeping Beauty was a stunning adaptation of Petipa's choreography, skilfully fitting in iconic sequences from the Rose Adagio despite the obvious obstacle of the lack of suitors! Hardly a mention of the immense talent of the soloists. No praise from you for the accomplished execution of the pas-de-deux work, especially since it is so rare for amateur ballet dancers to work in partnership. Equally the stamina involved in such a lengthy second half is incredible. The neatness, precision, strength and expression delivered by the soloists was extraordinary for a non-professional production and you don't even mention this.
As for what you have to say about the less experienced performers, it is codswallop, I'm afraid. Anyone who was actually watching the dancing, rather than trying to find any small fault will tell you that their enjoyment, enthusiasm, and technique was a joy to watch. And yes I said technique, because they were actually rather bloody good. Judging by your review you have no real knowledge of Ballet, so take it from someone who actually does. They may not have been a perfect corps de ballet, they may not have been precisely synchronised in the opening number, but that was due to nerves, perhaps inexperience of working as a group and very obviously due to their own individual musicality and expression. Leave the automaton synchronicity to the Mariinsky, it's actually rather refreshing to see individual dancers engaging with the dance and the music, rather than dancing like robots.
As to your comments about weight, anyone else who saw it would back me up in saying that they are completely untrue. Your misconception that all ballet dancers should be a size zero presumably stemss from your complete ignorance and from your strategy to judge solely on old and misinformed stereotypes; how on earth would a person who eats nothing but lettuce have the energy to rehearse every day and perform every night? Anna Pavlova herself was originally turned away from ballet school for being too small and too skinny. The height of the lilac fairy – immaterial. Your lame attempts at misogynistic humour are as misguided as your review. I am sorry that you missed out on such a good show. I imagine if you'd taken your eyes off the offending armpit hair (which no sane person gives a damn about anyway) and actually WATCHED THE DANCING your review would have been much better, both in terms of well-deserved praise for the dancers and as a piece of actually worthwhile journalism for your readership.
great review milo!
I take it you are being DEEPLY sarcastic Clare? I thought so.
Is the use of the lower case "m" in writing this woefully incompitaint critics name, also indicitave of your complete contempt of his/her thoughtless article? I agree.
SHAME ON YOU MILO. Hang your head. You have caused heartache beyond what you can imagine.
I expect you to write a full apology to all of the courageous and enthusiastic dancers in this show and in the future keep your negative comments to the only person who values them… YOU.
Milo, you really do have no skill in reviewing. It is very easy to make cheap jokes about fat dancers and technical hitches – it doesn't make for a good review and it just simply isn't that funny. It is clear that you have no knowledge or appreciation of ballet and so are misplaced to make any valuable judgement. You are miguided if you think that this kind of writing will help you become a successful journalist. Stop being such a grumpy bitch and just enjoy things for what they are…
The problem with amateur writers is that to make up for their lack of talent at writing they create wonderfully dramatic stories in the hope of taking the focus off their pitiful attempts at writing a review. Unfortunately for you though Milo, the photographic evidence speaks for itself.
Aurora: http://claude.cantabphotos.com/100224022932/202/ Yes, just look at all that hair pouring out of her armpits(!)
Fairies: http://claude.cantabphotos.com/100224022932/225/ Do you even know what a size 18 is?! These girls are in fact between a size 6 and 8.
At least we actually put some hard work into making a beautiful production and entertaining our audience, which is more than I can say for you.
Don't give up the day job honey.
"on stage like an autistic hippo…"
Milo, am I correct in suspecting that you think it funny or acceptable to make fun of autism now? Or is it just humourous to poke fun at people that may be a little overweight but are out there fulfilling their dreams and pushing their limits? You clearly do not know what autism is or how it affects people; your use of the word was inaccurate, not at all contextual, thoughtless and ignorant.
The only thing horrendous about this ballet was YOUR review of it. I am amazed you feel anyone would value your opinion; the way you speak of others says VOLUMES about yourself.
This article needs to be removed, edited or at least an apology published. I know of at least one of the performers from this ballet that was reduced to tears by your caustic negativity. I fear it may have affected others in a similar way.
Don't give up your day job.
Milo – I have been a professional dancer and ballet teacher for nearly 40 years. Over the years a number of my students have gone on to become professional ballerinas, many of them now dancing as soloists/principals with some of the world's top ballet companies. I can speak with full knowledge of what I am talking about, clearly unlike you.
These dancers did a magnificent performance. Please bear in mind they are students at the University of Cambridge, one of the most demanding universities in the world, and these students had to balance their academic workload with creating and reheasing this ballet. I'd like to see you attempting such a feat.
I heard nothing but praise from the "real" people in the audience for this show, they are the comments worth listening to, not yours.
Mr. Yiannopoulos,
As you are clearly such an expert in the world of ballet, then you will be aware that a large number of the greatest Russian ballerinas never shave their armpits. I have seen this first hand at the Royal Opera House where the hair WAS noticeable, unlike the beautiful Sleeping Beauty in this show, But I don't recall any comments about hairy armpits there. Maybe because the reviewers were professionals and concentrated on what they were actually there to review, rather than making petty comments to try and hide their ignorance?
I totally agree.
Some people use bullying tactics to mask their feelings of inadequacy. Others use spiteful words in the hope that they will mask the ignorance of the second rate "journalist" beneath.
Regarding the comments made by Milo Yiannopoulous – I find it very interesting that people who feel inadequate have to resort to making unkind, and untruthful, comments about those he feels inferior to. Milo, are you an academic at the university? Or a professional dancer? Neither? Well, these dancers are both.
The amazing dancer who danced the role of Aurora performed some sensational fouette turns which received tremendous, well deserved applause. You might also like to know that she was suffering from a very painful foot injury, but she went on with a smile and danced like the true professional she is. Unlike you.
Why bother reading reviews generally given by half-wits whose own inadequacies colour their judgments (milo). I was enthralled by the production of Sleeping Beauty given by the Cambridge University Ballet Club not least by the truly graceful and artistic performance given by Aurora.
I didn’t see any of the ‘negative aspects‘of this performance as I was thoroughly enjoying the talents of gifted young people who work extremely hard to combine academic studies with rehearsals. I have nothing but admiration for them and the deepest disgust for milo!
Where would our stars of the future come from without the benefit of amateur productions to give them an opportunity to grow and shine? We should nurture them not trample all over their dreams!
Milo, you should be only too aware of the power of words and the damage they can cause. You only have to look at the story of Karen Carpenter. Is this the sort of journalism you aspire to?
The dancers may not all have been up to your exacting standards, but what they lacked in experience they more than made up for in hard work and unliimited enthusiasm, for which they should be applauded, however imperfect you may have thought them, not made the subject of your ridicule.
Your words have caused indescribable hurt to a group of people who wished only to give their audience an evening of pleasure. 99.9% of the audience enjoyed it immensely, seeing it in it's true light, flaws and all, and we left the theatre with a real feel-good factor, which was surely what it was all about.
Milo, your "review" made no mention of the wonderful bluebirds – the male bluebird having to be drafted in at the last minute and who danced superbly. And, "more than anything" – your petty comment about Sleeping Beauty – no mention of the fact that this girl was suffering from a painful foot injury but still went on to dance beautifully, showing guts and loyalty to her fellow dancers by being determined not to let them down. She put her heart and soul into her performance, qualities which it appears you do not possess.
I agree with an earlier comment made, all involved in the writing and publishing of this article should hang their heads in shame. You should have the decency to make a full apology for the hurt you have caused.
Finally, this show gave several hundred people a great deal of pleasure and enjoyment. Your words have given pleasure to none.
wrong. i thought this review was delightful. much better than watching shoddy amatuer ballet.
Milo Yiannopoulous is never impressed with anything from all accounts, and should not be confused with a responsible, serious reviewer. His smug, condescending attitude and snide remarks appear to be his standard trademark, and this piece seems to be true to form, follow the same boring lines, as well as being a mass of contradictions.
As he pointed out, this was a local amateur ballet production, and at £4-£6 a ticket was jolly good value for money. Knowing full well it was an amateur ballet, just what did he expect? If he had wanted a stage full of Darcey Bussell substitutes or the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra then he should have gone to London and paid the exhorbitant price tag that goes with it.
Wouldn't it be nice if he had the guts to go to see the dancers and organisers of the ballet club and apologise in person for the distress his his words have caused.
Wow, Milo, you're just a bit of a sociopath, aren't you? The Tab should be embarassed to be associated with you.
I did not see the show but since Milo said it was bad it is absolutely certain that the show was very successful – never have I once agreed with his reviewing. Good for all of you who disagree with his snide and completely ill founded remarks.