The other day I heard one of my best friends – an extremely camp gay man - lambasted as a “disgrace to homosexuality” by another gay man. Now admittedly he’s attended every Bop of his university career dressed as a different drag icon, but does this behaviour warrant criticism?
The simple, sensible and logical answer is no – not at all. In fact ‘Sissyphobia’, as it is known in queer studies, strikes me as perhaps one of the last and greatest frontiers for the gay community to overcome.
In his book Sissyphobia: Gay Men and Effeminate Behaviour (one of few serious studies on the matter) Tim Bergling, a gay author, states “I still wrestle with some sissyphobia myself, as do many of my interviewees”. On a personal level, I cannot count the number of times I have heard other gay men express opinions along the lines of “I f***ing hate [insert term of abuse: gays, queers, fags etc.]”.
But this kind of attitude is simply not acceptable. Anyone who aligns themselves with this kind of idiotic, self-loathing attitude only arms the homophobic minority.
Taking a stand against ‘Sissyphobia’
The problem clearly arises from a lack of comfort with one’s own sexuality. ‘Sissyphobia’ all too often cloaks itself in seemingly progressive and forward-thinking language – those who claim that effeminate behaviour only serves to make people more uncomfortable with homosexuality. But this feels like politics of appeasement and quite frankly with DADT and civil partnerships we’re above all that.
What’s more, who is to decide what the acceptable, homely “face” of homosexuality should be? Though tempted, with my fascist tendencies, to imagine a benign gay dictatorship where all gays are good-looking and immaculately dressed, it is simply wrong.
All gay people are different and we should celebrate the many faces of the modern gay community for their diversity, from RuPaul to Gareth Thomas to Sue Perkins.
What we need is not the kind of tribalism and division among the gay community that allows discrimination to happen so easily but support, love and understanding. And now I’m off to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and paint my nails.
We don't tolerate that sort of behaviour at the UPC!
We love that stuff in the UPC
and so it begins another name which most people haven't heard before is tentatively offered to the tab comment section. somewhere in cambridge, a frenemy of mr hay's dreams of glory…
*Dunnett
This is a great article. It's a general trend started at a young age – girls are allowed to imitate 'masculine' behaviour by being a 'tom boy', but boys aren't allowed to imitate female behaviour.
That said, there is a certain kind of campness that I have to say I do find irritating, and I believe with good reason. When someone's image of their sexuality becomes their whole personality (or public persona at least), it makes them very…. well… boring. I find the extremely camp are often, although not always, similar to the extremely masculine: they are fulfilling a societal stereotype about their sexuality to gain security and attention.
That shouldn't detract from your point – gay people have all kinds of different personalities. But its a terrible shame when someone feels the need to jettison their personality and replace it with a societally mandated version of what a gay (or straight) man should be.
Well said Harry
Why can't people dislike campness? Sure, 'I HATE FAGS' isn't acceptable, but I don't like hippies, or butch girls, or drug-addled wasters. Nor do I enjoy listening to an endless stream of Tyra-isms from a feminine little white boy, which is what campness seems to have become.
I do take your points, but I also wonder to what extent we can explain away some really annoying character traits as one's own insecurities.
I'm not sure it's good to decide whether you like or dislike someone based on one character trait. The same would go for your examples of hippies, butch girls or druggies.
For me, the difficulty is when they (publicly) have no other personality – as I said above. But then it's the lack of personality that you're disliking them for rather than their campness.
I actually guess one of the muddled parts of the equation here is that I'm not trying to say I think all those groups I mentioned are bad people (that would be silly) but I'm not particularly attracted to them, either sexually or personality-wise. What I do hate is how those who are overtly camp, for whom it becomes a defining character trait, ruin it for the rest of the LGBT crowd.
I agree.
Campness and sexuality aren't the same thing at all; that sort of attitude leads to the unpleasant "Him? No he MUST be gay" mindset. Anyone can dislike campness – especially when, as someone said above, it becomes a person's sole defining feature.
I don't care who is made erect by whom, or who prefers an outie to an innie in their romantic partners, but I reserve the right to dislike attention-seeking campness. Not always, but sometimes. It doesn't make me homophobic. I don't like it from straight people either.
"feminine little white boy" – what has race got to with it?
Oh, didn't I mention? I'm a racist.
But I read 'Prance' and did a little giggle.
I think people should be allowed to say what they want. As a decidedly effeminate straight man, I sometime have people take the piss, but broadly speaking everyone's entitled to say what they want as far as I'm concerned.
Campness is fun, and great. When you have someone who's both nice and camp, they're funny, and some of the loveliest people to hang around with. You get the feeling they're completely unpretentious despite the fab outfits, this is just who they are and you love it.
Sometimes, however, campness manifests itself as being judgemental, being bitchy, and stand-offish with anyone who isn't as perfect and well-coiffed as you are. They come to treat every event and facebook status like some opportunity to pose for the camera with their persona like some diva prima donna. Meaning as well as being horrible, you're also no fun to be around. Who wants to be with someone who never loosens up? The other problem is the whole "Gay bff" phenomenon where people always expect gay people to be funny, well-dressed, bitingly witty and handsome all the time, as if they're just another accessory of the designer lifestyle to their friends. Also this builds insecurities in some, since gay people aren't superhuman. Some just can't be all those things, maybe they're shy or shock horror they just don't like fashion. They must be annoyed when as soon as they come out, they're treated like another chihuahua to be packed in a handbag and displayed.
RuPaul#s DragRace is sublime.
Not sure about drag, but I do like RuPaul's strident opposition to the Federal Reserve.
Rupaul's drag race is amazing, and only 3 days to the new season! What do you not like about drag on a political level?
… this one clearly went over your head.
Too busy watching this to have degree
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed…!
Are people not allowed to find certain behaviours annoying? I might say that I find gossipy women annoying. A woman might say she finds macho sport-obsessed men annoying.
And yet saying you find very effeminate, flamboyant gay men annoying is a hate crime?
It isn't a pleasant thing to say, and it would be particularly bad manners to say it to a person who was homosexual in an effeminate way .
But why should it be classified as a political offense, or somehow more egregious than simply unpleasant, or bad manners?
Asking for different treatment is not helping us reach a stage where homosexuality and heterosexuality are considered equal and people look upon the two with indifference.
A "hate crime"? "Special Treatment"?
You clearly don't know Harry and have drawn the wrong conclusion from the article if you think he is advocating these ideas.
I read this and questioned the use of the word "sissy" to mean "effeminate" since I have always thought it to imply immature weakness and irrational fear, albeit perhaps with a mild feminine twinge. I would not have associated such a personality trait with the subject of this article – you could find few people who are more self-confident.
However, having researched using the incredibly reliable online dictionary that came up first on google, I am told that sissyness can mean either. Perhaps the word itself is a product of the traditional idea of associating feminine traits with weakness and inferiority.
Maybe it would be more politically correct to ditch the word 'sissy' altogether?
"does this behaviour warrant criticism?"
Yes.
Sissyphobia- NOT A THING
Gays are such fannies
Who called your friend a disgrace to his sexuality?
not HE is a dickhead
I'm painfully curious about the comments that were deleted
hate that guy
"I am strongly drawn to Camp, and almost as strongly offended by it."
I think we should all just get on. Those who do will still be in the running to becoming America's Next Top Model. The other girls will have to pack their bags, and go home. LOVE YOU TYRA
Yeah, don't steal my shit.
Being camp is like a mating ritual for homosexuals, it lets others know that they are interested in sodomy. Note how an active gay man's eyes will light up when he sees a boy mincing and flapping and talking polari.
Unfortunately it is NOT a mating ritual because two men are not capable of reproduction, only stimulatory grinding.
well done you. shut up now.