Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, and everyone’s favourite man in red trousers is back on your radar. But how did Santa start such an outrageous trend?
If Saint Nick knew the sheer volume of flamboyant legwear that was floating around Cambridge, I think he’d be flattered. But I am less amused. In theory, striding confidently down King’s Parade in a vibrant shade of maroon is no problem; but in practise it spells TWAT. I have friends who wear red trousers, I even have some shameful wheel-them-out-once-a-year relatives who wear red trousers, but the festive season reminds me that there’s only one man in red who can make my wishes come true.
So I have a theory; a man’s first purchase of rouge pantaloons is a turning point in his manhood. A sort of mid-life crisis in legwear. You invest in red trousers for one of two reasons; A) you ARE a twat, or have recently become one, and want to proudly stride around stating as much. Or B) you’re desperate to be one of the red trouser gang, just gagging for the gaze of open-mouthed tourists and blushing lady Cantabs.
Is this man cool, or a twat?
If, while you’re reading, your gaze drifts downwards to your own zany red pins – don’t fear – there is hope for you yet. Your wardrobe crimes are not beyond remedy. The solution? The apologetic Santa clause.
Yes, that’s right, don’t try to trump the master at his own game – embrace him and his fashion sense. Don a silly hat and a big black belt, stuff a pillow up yer jumper and pay homage to father Christmas. No longer a threat, your fellow male will see you as a friendly adversary, ho-ho-ho-ing your way to pally banter.
And what of the ladies, I hear you say? Well, Freud would have a field day; embedded in our female consciousnesses is the irrepressable desire for the ultimate cerise-clad sugar daddy. So stride with festive pride, and they’ll be sitting on your knee in no time.
http://lookatmyfuckingredtrousers.blogspot.com/
..LACK OF ORIGINALITY
http://lookatmyfuckingredtrousers.blogspot.com/
I believe strongly in freedom of expression, and think that vibrant trousers are a great way to spruce up a boring outfit. They therefore perform a similar function to a scarf, suspenders, cuff links or witty anecdotes in making you stand out from your social rivals
someone said it! I HATE red trousers!
opinion poll please
http://cambridgetab.co.uk/news/no-contest-for-lei…
I think not.
My U21s stash include red trousers. Does this make me a twat?
You're arrested on charges of copying the real TPJ; he walks around in stash soo much even I know it's blue not red!
Who the fuck is TPJ ?
Who the fuck are you?
Hey hottie
Members of One Direction frequently wear red trousers. End of debate.
When not ignorantly advocating drugs or churning out a misguided, misinformed analysis of swaps, I enjoy complaining about the clothes some people choose to wear.
and shagging me!
Hi.
I have a pair of beautiful maroon/sanguine corduroy trousers. I think because they are not full 'red' and have a beautiful rustic aesthetic that they should be excused. Having said this, i did get a genuinely angry look from someone the other day for what i was wearing. I would also like the Tab to stop being such opinionated twats.
Yours respectfully
Mr. Less-Of-A-Twat-Than-Saskia
Do you know what wearing red trousers makes me Cambridge, yeah do you???!!! Well….it makes we wanna uh-uh-oh-oh-oh-oh, makes me wanna uh-uh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Where did you get a photo of me?
I wish I was as handsome as you…
I don’t feel as appreciated as you, so I will keep telling you how handsome I think I am…
why is this published?! racism ok on the tab now?
cambridge girls love twats.
no we don't. We just don't have much choice when presented with only one option.
what if I dj and wear red trousers?
Sup, Piez?
FML
Your name is Sasika. Enough said.