A game is being played across Cambridge. The aim depends on the perspective: for those organising the many May Balls and June Events, the objective is to create a system that keeps the crashers out. For the rest, the objective is to beat the system. There are no rules. It is a game of cat and mouse that has been played for as long as anyone can remember. And, as with all good games, the fun is in the playing; the end result of standing there at the Survivors' Photo forms just a small part of the enjoyment attached to crashing a ball.
From organizing a large event with professional guards, walkie-talkies, stewards, wristbands and fencing to using a set of DJ headphones to cheat the system at a recent May Ball, playing both sides of the game has been fun. It’s given me insights into the different aspects of this game.
I broke into Jesus May Ball this week and proceeded to steal wristbands. By the end of the night I had the much-cherished ‘Access All Areas’ pass in addition to a Performer’s wristband and a Worker’s one. I also stole a Guest wristband, but just for keepsakes. I spent part of the evening chilling backstage with Sub Focus and Mr Hudson. I wouldn’t queue for drinks at bars; instead I went behind the bar and poured my own concoctions.
The night before Jesus I was already performing at Emma’s June Event, so I set myself the challenge of breaking a friend in. Within twenty minutes, his name was on the VIP guest list and he arrived at the Porter’s Lodge and was ushered inside by the very helpful Committee (who actually called him to coordinate his reception). He didn’t even have to queue. I now have a free ticket to next year’s King’s Affair because I’ll be offering them advice on their security.
It’s impossible to count the number of ways to break into a ball, but over the years I’ve seen and used some pretty imaginative ones. ‘Breaking in’ is a misnomer – most end up cheating the system by finding a flaw, and there almost always is one. Breaking in attempts usually end up falling into one of two general categories:
Firstly, there’s what I call the ‘security breach.’ This is the force-majeure approach, involving high levels of climbing and running. It requires athleticism and/or large amounts of luck. Knowledge of the layout and grounds of the College is essential. Once you’ve found a gap in the security and made your move, remember you’ve made your decision and you have to give it your all if you’re to succeed.
Then, there’s ‘the delivery boy.’ Running and climbing is too crass for me. I prefer using persuasion or subtlety to get in. The most common flaw is a lack of communication between the organisers. A Ball is a stressful event, and if you want to break into one, use this to your advantage. Time is always on your side. You have all night to get in; the organisers are working on a strict schedule.
Some complain about the ethics of breaking into a ball. As a crasher, I see it as a game, one that’s both fun and rewarding. Those who complain that if everyone tried crashing a Ball we wouldn’t have Balls of the same scale are missing the point. Keep your logic; while the ‘free-rider’ model makes theoretical sense, it doesn’t apply to reality. Whenever there are great parties there will be people who will try and crash. The two are inseparable, and to pretend like they aren’t is foolish. People who organise parties know this, and they work within these confines to create a system that attempts to keep crashers out.
At the end of the day, even if you don’t get in, the process can be just as great. You’re practically guaranteed a story to remember. After all, it’s the stories of adventure, excitement and fun that will make your May Week.
Cool story, bro.
bollocks mate.
there were no access all areas passes.
sub focus never once set foot backstage or to a dressing room.
i was with mr hudson from the second he arrived to the second he left.
nice try though.
x
Haha I remember you, you thought I was with Sub Focus. Remember the 'monitor' emergency when Committee members were scrambling to get a monitor for Sub Focus? I started that because Sub Focus complained they had never performed without a monitor for feedback. x
If you think talking to Sub Focus briefly and relaying a message constitutes chilling backstage with them then fair play, but for what it's worth he chatted to pretty much anyone who approached him during the whole night.
And for what it's worth I had no part in whatever you think went on with the monitors so I'm not sure who you think you remember.
Decent break-in mate. But you, my friend, are a shit journalist.
I agree, managed to get into St Johns this year using a mix of both.
Dave, dressing up as a delivery boy and letting secruity breach your gap doesn't count as a mix of both.
Jesus didn't have an 'Access All Areas' pass. I'm calling bullshit. You blatantly didn't break in.
No, but they *did* have holes in their security. And I (not the author) did end up with a wristband that I didn't have at the start of the evening.
Fair play to anyone who breaks in, you beat us at our own game.
Not fair play to people who bullshit though.
Haha it was a 'Security' wristband. The wristbands were as follows: Blue for Guests, Red for Performers, Yellow for Workers, Purple for Committee Members, Green for 'Performers' (but these were the ones that porters were wearing, so amount to the same as Access All Areas). I woke up with all these wristbands. Owned.
I don't see a purple one in that picture…
Ditto Emma- No-one was added to the "VIP guestlist". Although the committee ejected a lot of crashers, you're chatting shit if you think you got someone other than a plus one free entry.
Seems like he has crashed the tab, with fantasy talk like this.
lol what a loser, bet when this guy finally gets into the events he just spends the whole time trying to tell people about how he did it
Another call of bullshit… no one has offered you a free ticket to next year's King's Affair or asked for your advice on security.
Also, I'm afraid I know for a fact that you paid for the King's Affair band shown in the picture. Sorry mate.
people seem pretty annoyed here that this guy crashed successfully.
i know for a fact he crashed jesus because I saw him there, wearing his 'dj' headphones. good on him!
I don't really like how the article attempts to rationalise the act with talks about the "free-rider model" not applying in reality blah blah blah. Just say "I know I'm being a douche but I don't care because it looks cool."
I broke into Girton, Robinson, Johns and Kings (does Kings count? I only stayed for an hour to get some booze for a room party cuz Sains was closed)
Oh yeah, New Hall garden party too.
Best may week ever.
it isn't an "attempt" at rationalisation – it *doesn't* apply in reality, it's all about numbers. the organisers can either spend 50% of their budget on security and have a shit ball, or let in 10 crashers and have a great ball for everyone. as for "fair vs unfair", well, nobody forces you to buy a ticket instead of crashing.
I broke into kings with 8 mates. easy, hopped the fence, told the security i was lost and got escorted in. thanks for the free drinks PUSSSYOLES
I think it's disgusting. How can one applaud crashing a may ball and not celebrate stealing £100+ from your friends wallet? Its theft. Its pissing all over your peers who either paid for the event or who were on the committee and put their life into the event. Shame on you to parade such poor behaviour.
Good for you. I think I saved just under £400 that week which will go towards a nice holiday this summer.
On a more serious note, whilst I was at Johns, I overheard some of the committee members bragging about which balls they'd broken into. And yes they were committee because they were wearing sashes and had walkie-talkies. How's that for hypocrisy?
100% success rate = Yi Luo Selwyn College.
Watch out bitches!
100% success rate. crashing £400s worth of may balls is the equivalent of going into an apple store and stealing one of the ipads. what goes around comes around, you'll get whats coming for you.
All very well the popmpous brigade criticizing those that break in, but I bet none of them were ever unable to pay to get in…