Bumbling big-eared royal Prince Charles made a flying visit to Cambridge yesterday, touching down by helicopter at Girton.
The Prince of Wales was in the city chatting to headteachers to mark ten years of the Prince’s Teaching Institute, a charity set up to encourage teachers to rediscover passion for their subjects.
The Prince, who graduated with a 2:2 from Trinity in Anthropology, Archaeology and History in 1970, was met by excited Girtonians earlier today. Tom O’Pray, a 3rd year medic described the visit as “totally surreal.”
“A helicopter clattered right past our window,” says Tom. “We all ran into the snow with our slippers on to find a load of policeman and the Prince of Wales on the cricket pitch.”
Fresh Prince
Speaking to delegates of the Prince’s Teaching Institute at Madingley Hall, HRH said that teachers had to focus on “the element of character” if they were to get through to students.
“One of the key issues we have to face is how to raise self-esteem, self-worth and self confidence,” Prince Charles told those present, who included slightly smaller-eared Education Secretary Michael Gove.
Charles was not the only royal figure in the city today, however. His wife Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall was in Addenbrooke’s, meeting youngsters with hereditary diabetes.
Grand National icon: Camilla Parker-Bowles
Camilla received an equally warm welcome to husband Charles. Holly Lovering, a third year Girton geographer told The Tab that “Camilla was looking fine. Forget K-Middy, CP-B is my new style icon.” You heard it here first.
What's a 'Girton'?
The Prince made a flying visit to 'Cambridge' yesterday, touching down in 'Girton'.
IT IS LITERALLY THAT MUCH OF A TREK
CPB is a handsome lady.
Who let Sarah Jessica Parker here?
No use locking the stable door
but I don't have a helicopter
I must confess that having seen many a fine chocolate nugget in my time, I am still yet to sample a royal log. It is with regret that the only being ever to sample such delights was the evil Faeces Fiend following the queen's silver jubilee of yesteryear. Despite despising the man with an intense hatred, he did comment that it was the finest dark piece of turd ever to sit on his pallet – soft and tender to the touch yet with a crisp, truffle-esque centre. It was something else. Fear not friends, for I shall endeavour to serve you all and will one day sample a succulent, juicy brown royal poo. Following the Prince's visit, I did manage to steal into the lavatory and pull some toilet paper from the WC in which he had just deposited his bodily waste. Snatching it from the jaws of sewery, I proceeded to gently caress the stains upon the paper with my tongue, before allowing myself to slip into an almost unfathomable state of euphoria and smearing the paper all over my visage. The thought of having just a few crumbs of such sought after turd clinging to my cheeks has but only given me more motivation to find that royal shit and sample right there and then.
That's all for now, I've been Poo Man and thanks for reading; and remember folks, if it smells of poo, and looks like poo, you've stumbled across a meal for two.
PM
I've decided to reveal myself. I AM POO MAN
………………. The piss having been taken