Students at Manchester have been asked to stop MASTURBATING in showers this week.
Yet another university has “been asked by staff” to refrain from five-knuckle-shuffling in shower facilities. In 2010 it was Durham, and in 2011 it was St Andrews.
Now in 2012 Manchester have added their pearl to the necklace of sheepish students caught red handed with their trousers down and egg on their faces.
In a message supposedly from the accommodation management, residents of Oxford Road halls were warned of drain blockages caused by semen.
Dishonourable discharges
Students have been asked to masturbate in the “comfort of their own rooms” instead of in showers and to “dispose of the discharges appropriately.” That’s something we can all learn from.
Some are not quite so understanding. Chris Hallam, third year Manchester economist said “I can see where the authorities are coming from, but there’s just so much top class gash in Manch that you can’t help but whack one out in the shower… Or at the back of the bus… Or in the club toilets!” Easy there, Chris.
Older than most rocks
getting a weird feeling of deja vu from this
I'm a wanker. A massive one actually.
Even you know this is old and lame
This was mildly amusing the first time – now it's more tiresome than TPJ.
to answer your poll, it will be Cambridge.
I just copied that letter, changed the letterhead and stuck it up on the bathroom door.
Now can you write real articles please?
Manc Wank Prank ≤ TPJ
5 points to Gryffindor for using Unicode symbols correctly.
I think this one might actually be true. Manchester is so gashtastic you can't help but regularly blow your load
Joke letter from a joke uni
Top right hand corner – it would help if they spelt Manchester right in the email address!
Boring and clearly fake. Surely even the Tab doesn't need to stoop this low?
thanks for helping the audience out – seems like more than one idiot missed the word Prank in the title
Now 21's is over i won't be able to "take care of business" in the showers after games…guess that will solve the blockages
I don't wank in the shower.
If you're not Manc, you're wank.
I wank in lectures but only under the table where noone can (usually) see
http://www.manchster.ac.uk
Uni you can filter out the semen and sell it to the banks after purification. would atleast get us out of recession, export it.
The smell of lederhosen makes me want to knock out a swift one
"semen is not soluble in water"
A bold statement – bearing in mind (that ever reliable source of knowledge and wisdom) the internet is once again divided on such an issue…
http://www.google.co.uk/#sclient=psy-ab&hl=en…
Surely, there is more that one student/academic here who is an expert on the matter…
– and can confirm either way?
My favourite place to bash out a sly one is Donegal.
Kebabana