Rowers made a desperate appeal to the Queen on Monday for the permanent removal of the “ASBO Swan” from the river Cam.
The vicious swan has returned with a vengeance to the Cam following his reign of terror last year.
Swanning around: in grainy footage obtained exclusively by The Tab, Mr ASBO attacks a Lady Margaret Boat.
“Mr ASBO” has now moved a mile and a half upriver from his previous post at Fen Ditton, towards the Green Dragon Pub, stepping up his assaults and raising fears tourists and punt users could soon become targets.
Last summer he targeted dozens of boaties on the outskirts of Cambridge, and even capsized a canoeist. However, after a winter in training, he’s started taking on bigger targets, including a number of motorised pleasure boats.
Next, he turns his attention to a Corpus boat.
He was also seen biting the end of an eight crew’s craft last week. President of the Cambridgeshire Rowing Association, Bill Key, called for Her Majesty to authorise the removal of the “offending bird” before it causes serious injury.
He said: “The swan situation is most serious and someone is going to be badly injured or worse – indeed a number of injuries have already occurred.
“We have nearly 1000 local rowers and 2000 students who will be returning to the water this week.
“I hope that the appeal with be approved by the authorities who make these decisions.”
The river custodians, the Conservators of the Cam, said heated discussions were taking place about whether the swan could be made to take its rage elsewhere.
However the responsibility for the swan’s future lies with Her Majesty’s Swan Warden, Oxford academic Dr Christopher Perrins, who told The Tab that any request to have the Royal Family disown the swan would need to be approved by the Queen, a notorious swan lover.
Dr Perrins instead stressed that the swan: “could be moved or have its wings clipped to throw it off balance when launching an attack.”
Grahame Madge, spokesman for the RSPB, was quick to defend the crazed swan, claiming it was simply swanning around to protect its territory from intruders.
"The simple explanation is that we are now in the full swing of the breeding season and swans are highly territorial during spring and summer.
“Normally their behaviour is to alert other swans but sometimes they are a bit too pumped up with testosterone they will try to evict anything that comes into their territory."
Swans are protected under the Wildlife and Countryside Act and illegally taking, injuring or killing them, or interfering with their nests or eggs carries a maximum penalty of six months in prison and or a £5000 fine.
Watch this space for full coverage of the swan’s antics on The Tab….
Its not the swans fault that there are stupid rowers in his river. I think the boatie puffs should grow a pair and deal with it.
He gave me a few very dirty looks whenever we went past on an outing I was coxing. Then he started biting oars during one I was rowing in… no dive-bombing yet, but it's only a matter of time…
[...] from: ASBOlutely: the Return of the Killer Swan « THE TAB – www … By admin | category: CAMBRIDGE | tags: advance, anonymous-election, CAMBRIDGE, election, [...]
I think it's disgraceful…there I am trying to co-ordinate both arms to move in a boring, repetitive pattern at a very sociable time of the day, and this swan keeps putting me off! I mean why can't he go bother the rugby jocks?
He is so big and scary. Every time he comes near us when we are rowing we all scream. This puts us off and means that we fall out of rhythm with each other. If you have any idea how hard it its to move your arms in a simple repetitive pattern in time with someone else, you'll know how annoying this is. Also his beak is slightly discoloured and looks really ugly
Well, if his beak is discoloured and ugly then we'd better get rid of him!
I'm glad that someone/-thing is waging war on the despicable type that is the Boatie. Give 'em one for me Swan!
By the way he's only known as Mr. Asbo to the local press, the boaties call him Stalin the Swan. The story goes that he went berserk after most of his offspring fell prey to fast-moving eights.
Not sure there are many of those around here…
Corpus M2x gets attacked by the swan, video footage of the pictures above
[youtube pf_KPq4_WLUhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf_KPq4_WLU youtube]
Loved how this made the front page of the Telegraph. You'd think the election was boring…
“We have nearly 1000 local rowers and 2000 students who will be returning to the water this week"…. didn't know we had so many losers in Cambridge
I think this matter should be settled in the ring! 8 rowers vs. the swan, & the Tab should televise it. The swan would definately be more entertaining in the post-match interview… although that wouldn't be difficult really!
The boaties didn't kill it's kids; and yes swans were probably there before the rowers but what about shared river usage and safety? I assume all you boatie haters would rather see the swam kill one of us or a motor boater than be moved elsewhere?
You're talking like you're rowing through bloody Harlem! You're the ones with the bloody big boat, holding heavy oars that could knock ten shades of bird excrement out of said swan. Until the swans start collaborating with other local avian crime syndicates, I think you'll be just fine son. Man up.
well if it saves me from throwing stones at rowers i'm all for it. maybe we could draught in other swans to form some sort of avian army to do battle with the rowers, who are the most inconsiderate people I have ever witnessed and deserve all the abuse we can give em. Fancy going fishing on the cam? Can't – rowers. Fancy taking a cruise on a riverboat? – Can't – rowers. Fancy a peaceful pint at a riverside pub? Can't – rowers with megaphone. Fancy a nice stroll down the river bank? Can't – rowers with pillock on bike not looking where it is going…..Fuck em.
Please remove the rowers, queen!