Anyone who has seen me ‘throwing my shapes’ would have to describe my dancing style as Rainbow-Rhythms-meets-rapey-uncle-at-a-wedding, so naturally I couldn’t wait when the opportunity arose to add salsa to my repertoire.
My only prior knowledge of salsa was of the catastrophic outfits that occasionally appear on Strictly Come Dancing, a state-funded programme used to impose a subliminal curfew on the nation during wintry Saturday nights.
What women over 50 think of in the bath.
Despite what your grandmother may think I’ve always considered this look to be the antithesis of sexy, the equivalent of taking out a restraining order on all the world’s female front bottoms. Although this guy is undoubtedly better at oral sex than me, before being asked by my editor I had no desire to take up salsa and become a tangerine, unitard wearing ‘Alejandro’. However, on arrival at the Cambridge University Social Club with three friends in tow I allowed myself to become rather excited.
After a brief but traumatic spell with the advanced salsa class I was promptly sent packing to the basement, where the beginner’s class was being held. I was greeted by our instructor Vish barking out orders to legions of first timers kicking each other in the kneecaps. This was not the case for long.
Vish and I
Vish represented everything I had hoped for in a salsa instructor, resplendent in his plunging cardigan, pointy black shoes and with a penchant for counting in French. He seized women at random with his ‘cobra hands’, one of whom appeared to be having a stroke after Vish grabbed her waist and dry-humped her to a soundtrack of Buena Vista Social Club.
As all the female participants rotated through the room it dawned on me that the salsa class was essentially a speed dating service. A dating service that allowed you to gauge how clammy the hands of each prospective sexual partner were, and how they would feel against the small of your back.
Oh my God! It’s my first time too!
It became apparent that these salsa classes were a kind of last chance saloon for sex starved IT managers, who frequently told the ladies they were dancing with “you’re not close enough” like some kind of tangoing Hannibal Lecter. Nevertheless, it was an undeniably fun evening.
‘The Cubanos.’ (Jazz hands and Rose in mouth optional)
Vish soon had the room of 60 people performing a pretty sophisticated series of mambos, rumbas, back-steps, cubanos, and spins, all set to music. The coaching was animated and very entertaining and by the end of the night I had been transformed into a Zorro of the dance floor, having truly enjoyed myself.
Prices start at £6 for 1 hour and £8 for two. Students with an NUS card can also get a second hour free. Plus, as a beginner you can cop a cheeky feel or two, claiming ‘I don’t know where my right hand should go’.
TRY Salsa dancing with The Tab’s Club Salsa reader offer.
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"He seized women at random with his ‘cobra hands’, one of which appeared to be having a stroke"
Got the wrong end of the stick there. Sort out your fucking grammar.
Maybe you should get a fucking life instead of crawling through Tab articles pointing out mistakes?
Being a pedantic cunt are for those you can't do. Suck Nick's hairy balls.
It does affect the meaning here. It's not pedantry when poor grammar fucks up the meaning.
If you weren't smart enough to realise what the actual meaning was, then you must be a special kind of idiot.
Speaking of catastrophic outfits when I'm not sporting my redboys kit I am partial to the odd turtleneck. I'm told its very edgy!
Was I the only one expecting to read an article comparing the various dips available for purchase?
I know the article is about salsa, but boy these vixens are hot!
I'll catch you later guys,
Reggie_Joker
It's 'Vish and me' not 'Vish and I' you buffoon.
Surely either could be correct since this is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. If the implied sentence is something along the lines of "Vish and I pose for a photo", or anything in which "Vish and I" is the subject, then it's absolutely correct.
Unfortunately, the Grammar Nazi is right, as you would say this is a photo of me, not a photo of I, and therefore it is a photo of Vish and me.
Even though it's really not a big issue, I refer you back to my original post. In the context of the implied sentence "this is a photo of…", you're right it would be "me". However, the implied sentence is ambiguous. As I said before, you wouldn't say "Vish and me pose for a photo", so in that case "I" would be appropriate.
Nick must be really pleased that his articles are so conentious! Nothing says great Tab writing like a fiery debate in the comments section!