Swap Violence Spreads

29th October 2009

Image Post #3324

Students and fellows have expressed outrage after the number of violent incidents involving college drinking societies shot up this week.
After The Tab exclusively broke the news of an altercation involving Dr Jeff Wheeler and a number of female students from Girton at Gardies, the college has again been involved in swap violence.
The most recent attack, also at the popular takeaway, involved members of the Green Monsters and the Fitzwilliam Shallots.
Eyewitness reports suggested that one member of the Monsters, after consuming a large amount of alcohol, stood up and smashed two wine bottles together, showering them over the table.
He then proceeded to pull a girl’s chair from underneath her, causing her to land in the broken glass and cut herself.
Finally, he sensationally picked up a plate and hurled it at another girl, leaving her with serious head injuries.
The student, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is a second year.  It is understood by The Tab that he is under investigation by the college, who declined to comment.
Gardies employees condemned this week’s violence and described those involved as “animals.”
They also told The Tab that a number of students had left swaps without paying.
“They are Cambridge students and they can’t even afford £5 for chicken and chips.”
Andrew Jeffries, Senior Tutor at Girton, said of a previous incident that the behaviour of the Monsters was “abhorrent”, and added that that the college would deal “severely” with drunken antics.
Last year, Girton hit the headlines when a member of the college defecated outside Emma Bar.
Further down the street, employees of The Trailer of Life are set to appear in court this week, after they were subject to racist abuse from two men, and were told to: ‘go back to your own fucking country’.
They were then threatened with an iron bar.
These new revelations come just a week after another instance of violence, this time at the Mahal.
A Homerton fresher punched a member of the Churchill Bulldogs, after holding her in a headlock.
The student has been banned from any future swaps by the president of the society in question.

12 Responses to “Swap Violence Spreads”

  1. JOHN says:

    Fair enough,

    But one of the guy's involved here is the best frickin pianist this univerisites seen in years. and sure, he was fucked, and it was accident, but lets face it, whos not done something fucking dumb when they're drunk. go to any swap and you get dumb ass carnage, what do you expect? – but lets not demonise, because you're just picking out the bad things and leave everything good about some of thesepeople. one of these guys are exceptional.

  2. Barry says:

    This article is absolute b*llocks. It is so factually incorrect it's unbelievable. The tab has just proved how atrociously low its standards of journalism are.

  3. Barry says:

    Why doesn't the tab publish the names of the journalists who write these ridiculous articles so they can be taken to task over the blatant lies they have printed?

  4. The Tab is RUBBISH says:

    Once again another factually incorrect article. As a publication you are really excelling. Well done….x

  5. Bea says:

    Dear God! Apparently, venerable Cambridge doesn't require one to have mastered basic English grammar as a pre-requisite for matriculation. How sad.

  6. Girton says:

    We are Girton, SUPER GIRTON, no one likes us, but we don't care.

    So stop making up bollocks articles Tab.

  7. your mum says:

    youre clearly envious of girton otherwise you would not try so hard to make us look bad
    to clarify:
    we did NOT lash out racist slurs at the van of life or anyone. we love them.
    or boys do NOT take girls in headlocks OR physically assault (i.e. punch) them, thats other colleges, too.
    get your facts straight.

  8. Homerton is so far away that the lad in question be stretch armstrong to chin a girl over that much land, man of the match

  9. anonymous says:

    yeah. what your mum said.

  10. anonymous says:

    the article never stated that fuckwit, get YOUR facts straight and learn to read.

  11. pedant says:

    Erm, yeah. I'm stuggling to find where it says where a member of Girton assaulted the guys at the Van of Life. And it clearly says a HOMERTON fresher punched a girl. You moron. Admissions criteria up there must be on the slide…

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