Trenton Oldfield, the man who stopped the boat race, is to appear in court today.

Oldfield, 36, is charged with causing a public nuisance on April 7 in the Thames near Chiswick Eyot, after he swam in front of the boats in the 158th annual race.

His first court appearance, exactly a month ago, saw heavy bail terms imposed, preventing him from entering the City of Westminster on certain dates, or the Olympic torch route, to prevent further protests. His conditions prevent him from entering Cambridge to take part in the Anarchist march planned for next month. At the time he entered no plea.

Oldfield, an LSE graduate who lives in Central London, claimed to be protesting about elitism when he disrupted the famous race by swimming between the boats.

Trenton interrupting the race

A website said to be written by him includes “manifesto for civil disobedience”, whilst his tweets after the race said he was prepared to do jail time in order to change the system. That now looks like a reality.

He continued: “Still waiting for someone to show me when elitism (seeing oneself above another) hasn’t lead to oppression and tyranny?”

The interruption was widely condemned as a dangerous and pointless stunt, with the Oxford captain tweeting Oldfield to tell him “this was the culmination of our careers and you took it from us.”

Students, who reacted angrily at the time, will be hoping for a stiff sentence. James Sheldon, a second year engineer, told The Tab that “The man is a knob. He screwed up those guys day to make a point, now the court should make a point of him.”

This week at Jesus a group of what can only be described as communist lesbians tried their upmost to push the college into the Maoist nightmare we all know they want.

The attempted coup came in the form a of JCR motion suggesting the establishment of a ‘women’s empowerment scheme’.

Well I think we can all agree that the only thing that should be empowering women around here is our cocks; am I right boys? Good thing there were plenty of ‘Top Lads’ there to let those women know just how ridiculous they were being. I for one know exactly where they can stick their empowerment – in their vaginas, with my cock.

For those of you who aren’t, let’s say, the sharpest spires in Cambridge, and haven’t yet seen through my carefully crafted dramatic persona, please do not adjust your sets. I do, of course, think that so called ‘lad culture’ is nothing but a festering misogynistic turd, in desperate need of being flushed back into the prehistoric jelly of evolutionarily stunted slime where it belongs.

Jesus’ male dominated JCR, on the other hand, seems a little less clear on this issue and has found itself caught in the crossfire of numerous allegations of endemic sexism. These allegations followed in the wake of a JCR meeting in which male members reportedly shouted down women in attendance for being “ridiculous” to propose the empowerment scheme.

Meanwhile, as you chaps get bombarded with bomb hoaxes, Brasenose has been, as I am told the young people say, ‘kicking it old school’ in the hoax department.

A minor media frenzy was stoked up, with the BBC, The Telegraph and The Daily Mail all on the scene after a number of insidious posters were spotted around the college banning the wearing of pyjamas at breakfast, which read: “This practice evinces a failure to distinguish between public and private spaces in college. There is a clear distinction between night wear (private) and day wear (public). I trust that this slovenly practice will cease forthwith.”

Alas, all this turned out not to be the work of one of the College’s more draconian Dons finally losing it with his students’ deficiency of Harris Tweed and pith helmets to go on a poster based rampage.

Brasenose insists the posters were the work of students and not official college policy.

Cambridge has topped the Guardian‘s University league table for the second year running.

The respected league table, which ranks universities on quality of teaching, spending per student and career prospects, has yet again placed Cambridge well above its rivals, leaving Oxford in second place.

The home of Cindies and Gardies also smashed LSE, St Andrews and Warwick, who made up the top five.

Cambridge took the top spot for 16 out of the 47 subjects the Guardian ranked, including: maths, comp sci, medicine and philosophy. The Other Place mustered a pathetic seven pole positions, and this time it couldn’t even blame Trenton Oldfield for its failings.

Don’t worry, it happens to lots of unis. Cambridge comes first… again.

Ed Legg, a first year PhD student who previously studied at Oxford, warned that Cantabs shouldn’t take the league table too seriously. “Honestly, I think that it doesn’t really matter which of the Universities comes top.

“The university that is best for you and your course is not necessarily the top rated university.”

Other students just displayed sympathy for Oxford. Holly Lovering, a third year from Girton said, “it must be tough losing out on the top spot again. My thoughts are with Oxford’s second-rate students.”

The accolade comes as no surprise, following Cambridge’s crown as the world’s best university in the QS rankings last September, where it beat off stiff competition from Harvard, Yale and MIT.

And there must be something in the air, since Cambridge’s neighbours ARU stormed 14 places up the table to a new high of 77th.

Selwyn has decided to hang an official portrait of its JCR President to help students know who he is.

In a motion described as “simultaneously glorious and ridiculous” by Selwyn rugby captain, Jeremy Cribb, framed presidential photographs will be hung in a “hall of fame” in the college common room. Selwyn appears to be the first college to take this kind of photo opportunity.

The “Selwyn JCR Veneration of the President Policy” passed with 47% in favour of the scheme in an online vote. Current President, Glen Pearse, said that the policy was part of a larger incentive to encourage undergrads to take more of an interest in the workings of the JCR.

Super Prez: The Venerable Glen Pearse

“In a lot of colleges including Selwyn, people tend to know very little about the JCR unless they’ve been personally involved or have a real interest in student politics,” said Pearse. “This policy was just another way of getting people to notice the JCR and realise that despite our serious work, we do actually have a sense of humour” he added.

Speaking of the policy’s grand title, Pearse pointed out that “of course we’re not suggesting that Presidents should actually be worshipped, but the name was designed to make people curious and I think it achieved that.”

The reaction to the happy snap has been positive. First year Tom Bell said that the pic was “part of making the JCR committee more integrated. The JCR is part of the college community as a whole and it’s important that people know who the President is”.

It is understood that Pearse’s first portrait “won’t be a particularly serious picture”.

UPDATE: 

A further bomb scare occurred at Downing today.

No-one was evacuated, but the gates were locked and students advised to remain alert. The atmosphere was generally calm.

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UPDATE: 

There have been two more bomb scares this afternoon, at Girton and Churchill. 

Students working in Girton library were told that the University received an email this morning naming Girton as a college that has been targeted by the hoax.

“We were advised to take our bags with us when we leave the library, and the librarians keep wandering around doing checks. But no one’s at all concerned,” said Sophie Cavanagh, a third year Girton geographer.

Students at other colleges have been emailed evacuation plans, should the situation develop.

More details to follow.

If you hear any more information, please email news@cambridgetab.co.uk

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UPDATE: 

There has a been a third bomb scare in three days, with King’s evacuated this morning.

Shortly after 9am this morning the university security centre received a call claiming to have planted a bomb inside King’s, but after an evacuation and 45 minutes of searching students and staff were allowed to return after nothing was found, and police confirmed it was being treated as a hoax.

Speaking to The Tab the university said: “No devices were found. No members of the public were on site at the time as King’s Chapel has not opened for the day yet”.

The University Communications officer did admit that a link seemed “likely” between the three events but that it was a matter for the police.

A police spokesman told us that the threat was thought to be part of a series of national hoaxes and told us they were ‘not too worried’: ”This is being investigated as part of a series of hoaxes and students should not be concerned.”

Eva Nisse, a first year PPS student at Kings, told The Tab the mood was generally one of indifference.  ‘The main question on everyone’s minds was “Is this the usual fire alarm and when can I get back to my toast?”‘

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UPDATE: 

Speaking to The Tab, University Communications Officer Tim Holt confirmed that the bomb scare at Clare was a hoax after a full security sweep was conducted.

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UPDATE:

All sites at Clare have now been reoccupied. In an email to all Clare students, steward Mick Petty explained: “the perceived threat was reported to the authorities at Clare by the University Security Control Centre who had received email traffic indicating a security threat to both Clare College and Hughes Hall”.

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UPDATE:

Clare College has been evacuated following a bomb scare on all three of its sites at around 11am this morning. Residents of the Colony on Chesterton Lane have been evacuated to Jesus Green whilst those in Old Court have been directed to the Fellows’ Garden.

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UPDATE:

Students have been emailed informing them that they are now allowed back into the site. Melissa Reilly, the Teaching Administrator said in the email that ‘the site is now open and freely accessible.’

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The New Museums Site has been evacuated after a bomb hoax in the CUSU offices.

The Tab spoke to Clare second year, David Byrne. “The general mood was one of concern but not fear. People seemed more annoyed than afraid. Most people thought it was probably a hoax – a Trenton-Oldfield-style disruption to studies.”

Thirty people were evacuated from the Old Examination Hall and the Earth Science Laboratory at 2pm in a hoax that mimicked the spree of scares from other Russell Group universities.

A spate of bomb hoaxes has swept through British Unis, with twelve cities affected. 

In Cambridge, total of six hoaxes have been called in so far at Churchill, Clare, Girton, King’s, Hughes Hall and the New Museums site.

The University has been threatened by anonymous bomb emails since Tuesday 15th.

Clare, King’s and the New Museums site were fully evacuated and swept by cops before being declared safe.

Eva Nisse, a first year PPS student at Kings, told The Tab the mood was generally one of indifference.  ‘The main question on everyone’s minds was “Is this the usual fire alarm and when can I get back to my toast?”‘

Girton and Churchill were not evacuated, but students were asked to keep their bags on them at all times whilst the college authorities regularly searched the area.

Cambridge University Communications Office confirmed that the bomb scares were in fact hoaxes as no devices were found.

But students have complained that evacuation at the New Museums site was shambolic. The fire alarm only sounded 45 minutes after the bomb scare started, while some students were told they needn’t be evacuated as long as they stayed away from windows.

Colleges throughout the university have now taken extensive precautions against a possible attack.

In emails sent to students, Senior Tutors and Head Porters have asked that students remain vigilant and report any suspicious behaviour or belongings. Evacuation procedures have also been detailed to students.

Images of the Derby scare were circulated on Twitter

Epidemic of hoaxes

These events are the latest in a epidemic of hoaxes across English universities. All confirmed incidents have been delivered by anonymous email.

A total of twelve hoaxes have been reported. The first outbreak of hoaxes occurred in late April at Bristol, Durham and Kent Universities on the 23rd and 24th April. The first reported email was to Bristol. It read:

‘Two small bombs are hidden in Wills and Durdham Halls. They will explode later today. Take this warning very, very seriously.’

Similar emails were received by Durham and Kent. All the universities evacuated students and closed down the affected buildings.

The Bristol Epigram reported similar hoaxes at Sussex and Leicester Universities, but The Tab could not confirm this information.

After this initial phase, two further hoaxes occurred were not widely reported. Both Liverpool and Derby evacuated students from accommodation buildings. Derby University Press Offices alleges that the bomb threat and the evacuation were unconnected.

Week of chaos

From this Monday, a further spate of hoaxes disrupted university across the country. Canterbury Christchurch was targeted on Monday, swiftly followed by the first second Cambridge attacks on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Today there have been incidents at three Universities. In addition to Cambridge, Kent and Bath Spa were hoaxed. Again, all the hoaxes have taken the form of anonymous emails.

At Kent, six exams had to be cancelled. Denise Lovett, a 21-year-old economics student, told The Tab: ”We were waiting for an hour outside to see whether they would let us back in. But someone took one of the exam papers while we were waiting and others had obviously looked at it and they decided to not let us do the exam. I’m annoyed because I was really prepared for this one!”

National investigation

There have been mixed accounts of the police’s response. Some universities have alleged that the matter is being dealt with solely by local police and that the events are being viewed as unconnected. But an anonymous university source claimed the investigation was being handed to the Metropolitan Police as a ‘national investigation‘.

Cambridge is hardly known for its amazing nightlife. But a new club is coming.

No Saints Limited announced that a brand new live music venue will be in Cambridge by October.

The Jam House will be the latest addition to the handful of clubs that exist in town.

The 600-strong capacity club will be constructed around the corner from popular venue The Place.

At the moment the building is an abandoned Gala Bingo Hall on Hobson Street. However Steve Thomas, Director of No Saints told The Tab that in just a few months time the old site will be transformed into “an entertainment base with a good quality restaurant.”

“It’s going to add a different dynamic to Cambridge nightlife.”

Steve Thomas, who was named ‘A big man in the world of nightclubs’ in 2000, tried to set up a burlesque club in the disused building last year. The plans fell through after the Council refused Mr Thomas permission.

This charming jam: A picture of the abandoned Bingo hall

At the moment hopes are high to diversify Cambridge clubs. Louise Johnstone, the new head of Big Fish Ents welcomed the competition.

“It would be very exciting and a great addition to the growing nightlife scene in the town. It won’t cause any problems to Big Fish Ents, we’re a Cambridge institution.”

The Jam House, which has a franchise in Birmingham, isn’t so popular amongst students as it only opens to under 21s once a week. The Cambridge club will be 18+ every night, however.

Jamie Anstruther, a Birmingham fresher told The Tab ”They’re trying to go for an up-market student vibe, but no-one really goes.”

Still, Cantabs can’t wait for a new venue to check out. Nick Marshall, a second year Trinity student said ”I’m going to conserve my energy now in anticipation of The Jam House. It’s going to be sweet.”

Cambridge is fourth in the university league table… of students with ‘sugar daddies’. 

Faced with increasing tuition fees of up to £9,000, and an average debt burden of £52,000, ever increasing numbers of female students are joining specialist dating sites in search of rich older men to solve their financial problems.

And according to ‘sugar daddy’ dating site seekingarrangement.com, 42 Cambridge Students have signed up, seemingly undeterred by the prospect of dating one of their friends’ dads.

The website is very open about the financial motivation of its users. Rather than presenting itself as a traditional dating site, its web page describes it as facilitating ‘mutually beneficial arrangements’ between ‘generous’ older men and ‘sexy and ambitious’ ‘Sugar Babies’.

On their profiles, ‘Sugar Babies’ are able to list among other preferences the amount of money per month they expect from an older man seeking an ‘arrangement’ with them.

Sugar Lad-dy: Thumbs Up for Cambridge Students

Nottingham tops the charts of UK Universities with 61 student sign-ups, followed by the University of Kent and LSE.

SeekingArrangement founder Brendan Wade is delighted with the numbers of students joining his site, a trend he puts down to the costs of a university education. Female students who join up are even granted a special ‘College Sugar Babe’ stamp from the site administrators as well as free Premium Membership, and generate up to three times as much interest as other so called ‘Sugar Babes’.

Sugar Daddy websites have been criticised as glorified escort agencies, but Fitz postgrad Noreen Masud was more cynical. “I think it’s just formalising a process that has gone on within the elite universities for years,” she said.

“Don’t they say that there’s no point a girl going to Oxford unless she gets a first, a blue, or a man? It just seems that Cambridge ladies are better at outsourcing their priorities.”

UPDATE:

CUSU voted on honorary memberships last night. Gerard Tully was not put forward for the honour, but was nominated in a motion by Charlie Bell. They argued over the honours for two hours last night, with incoming President Ros Old vocally opposing his nomination.

On a large majority, CUSU Council decided to award Tully with life membership.

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Bizarre events at CUSU have revealed rifts between President Gerard Tully and other members. 

This week Gerard Tully was the cause of a spat between officials after he failed to file any motions for the NUS Conference in April.

Gerard didn’t send any passed motions to be discussed at the NUS, for which he has now apologized. But some angry CUSU members have taken this as an opportunity to denounce Gerard’s actions as “pathetic” and “failures.”

In a furious email sent by CUSU member Sam Wakefield, he trashed Gerard’s decisions. The contents of this message were leaked to The Tab.

“I wish to convey to you how appalled I was by your conduct at Council on Friday, and in particular by the way you trashed your sabbatical colleagues in what I feel was a pathetic attempt to avoid taking responsibility for your own failures.”

Sam criticized what he saw as Gerard blaming his sabbatical team together, “You were all so busy running elections, running around furiously, not really sure what you were doing, and during the course of this collective mayhem you all *unavoidably* jointly failed to do something you were *all* meant to do.”

Trouble in paradise

This has been viewed as an exaggeration by some CUSU members. The NUS conference only spent a short amount of time debating student submitted motions. Joel Fenster, the appointed NUS-CUSU delegate, said that “it wasn’t an issue at all.”

“In reality nothing we were debating in CUSU was rare. To use what happened as a judgement on Gerard’s presidency is a big misunderstanding.”

The Tab has learned that Gerard spent around 5 hours debating motions to submit, which would only have been minor amendments. In actual fact the NUS Conference only spent a short amount of time actually debating Student Union ideas.

This exchange is apparently part of wider fighting and political intrigue fracturing CUSU.

CUSU’s Graduate Union Development Officer Charlie Bell said “This ludicrously overblown and dubious complaint about frankly irrelevant motions is a direct attempt to undermine Gerard, and has been going on all year, masterminded by the pathologically jealous Sam Wakefield, who was categorically trounced for the Presidency by Gerard.”

Sam “needs to get a life, get a real job, get over himself, and get lost.”

Also causing trouble and strife in CUSU is the annual Honorary Life Membership award. Normally a way of recognising those who have gone above and beyond the call of duty in their student careers, this year’s nominations have been muddied by CUSU in-fighting.

Charlie told us that “Gerard is evidently an ideal candidate for the award: he’s done so much for CUSU.

“The Sabbs who vote for the award are pretty wet individuals. Sam is pulling the strings.”

The Tab spoke to Sam Wakefield, who did not wish to comment.

When asked what happened, Gerard said “It was a cock-up and it was my fault.”

“I’m not that interested in engaging with petty politics. I’m interested in finishing the job that I have.”

Anonymous site Library Whispers has today been shut down after “bullying and aggressive messages” from a “large number of individuals”.

The site has seen occasional offensive comments since its inception last year, but these have escalated recently causing founder Oliver Rees to close it down.

A statement on the site claimed that “it has turned into a forum of hate” and claimed that “the decision to close the site was taken before anything really bad happened”.

One regular user told The Tab that there were the occasional sexist comments which turned nasty, and that things had been getting worse recently.

Library Whispers was “started to give people the opportunity to break the boring revision period with a bit of interest”, and has for the most part been an interesting and diverting place to procrastinate.

Oliver Rees had no further comment other than that he was focusing a on a new project, We Are Cambridge.

End of an era: the page today

One user reacted to its closure with a Facebook status saying “Library whisperers is no more =(. Going to have to make do with listening into grad whispers in the real library. Nightmare.”

Clare mathmo Juan Ojeja told The Tab that the site’s anonymity, one of its selling points, made its demise inevitable: “anonymity incites bullying as you can completely disregard consequences, it gives people a sense of power to completely trash someone who perhaps they’ve never met.”

But it isn’t all bad news. Adam Gray, second year muso from Selwyn, said ‘I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if there was a noticeable improvement in exam results this year.’

It seems Cambridge students will have to find a new way to gossip and procrastinate in the run-up to exams.