Cambridge University 21- Cambridge RFC 34

On Wednesday the Blues slipped backwards against a strong Cambridge Town side, losing 21- 34.

The match was a disappointment for the Blues as they now have only two games left to get it right before they face Oxford at Twickenham.

The game was played in the open style that the Blues have enjoyed throughout most of the season. This time however, it was the town side that held most of the possession and played with the most consistency.

Photos by Tim Sherrington.

The home side started brightly, earning themselves a lineout in the opposition 22 right after the kick off. The subsequent pressure earned them a penalty, making the score 3-0 within three minutes.

However, as the men in Red began to warm up they impressed the crowd with their remarkable ball retention.

From this platform they were able to break, using their big centres James Knight and Phil Ellis to barge the Blues through the middle.

It was not long therefore before the University’s defence broke and full back Will Martin finished off a neat move to tip the score in the Town’s favour.

However, the metronomic boot of captain Jimmy Richards soon put the Blues back into the lead as he slotted over two penalties.

CRUFC then burst back, their centres again taking crash balls off the scrum, drawing in the Blue’s defence.

Video highlights of the game, courtesy of CU-TV.

This enabled hooker Ben Hunter to roll over for a simple try on the overlap to give the Reds the lead for the second time.

The final five minutes of the first half was a frantic affair, with both teams scoring tries from open play.

The Blues’ backline gelled for the first time in the match, with impressive results: some quick passes and dummy running from the centres put Sandy Reid in space and he duly scored the try.

Off the restart however, the Blues again allowed Cambridge to hit straight back at them.

An unconventional kick off was simply gobbled up by Tom Wheatcroft who settled the ball under the posts for an easy try to leave the score at half time 14- 17 in the Town’s advantage.

At the beginning of the second half the away side took the game by the scruff of the neck.

Blues centre Fred Burdon takes a hit.

Dominating the lineouts, they scored two tries in quick succession, driving the ball over the the Blue’s line.

With the forwards beginning to dictate the pace of the game, the Town backline were given some space with sensational results.

The Red’s winger Kris Cottenham beautifully intercepted a sloppy pass on the half way, before leaving two defenders in his wake to score a great try.

The Blues did show, on occasion, what they are capable of too. On the 75^th minute Sandy Reid made a break from his own half, before getting the ball to captain Richards who superbly drew the last man to put Paul Louden in over the Town’s line.

After the game, scrum-half Sam Hunt told The Tab that ‘They were a very strong side, and their centre’s legs were enormous, they were like tree trunks! If I want tree trunk legs, I am going to have to get munching my protein!’

With only two games between now and the Varsity match, the Blues missed an opportunity to really bring their season together and show what they are capable of.

With the Oxford boys coming down to watch the Blue’s game on Wednesday afternoon, Jimmy Richards and his men will be hoping to put in a better performance.

The Gown vs Town match was dedicated to Rifleman Andrew Fentiman, 7^th Battalion, The Rifle and a member of Cambridge Town RUFC. He was tragically killed in Afghanistan in November 2009.

The next Blue’s game is against the Steele- Bodgers, on Wednesday 24^th November at 3pm. The game will be preceded by Oxford Captain Nick Haydon and his squad delivering the traditional challenge to Cambridge Captain Jimmy Richards for the Varsity Match at Twickenham on the 9th December.

Exeter 6 – 15 Cambridge

A long post-Cindies trip to Devon did not stop the lax Blues from continuing their 100 per cent record this season against a strong Exeter University 1st team.

The Blues impressively rose to their first tough challenge of the campaign, beating what one team member described as the “fiesty, fake-tanned, peroxide blonde Exeter girls” by a margin of nine goals.

The game started messily with a significant number of referee calls going against Cambridge and both teams receiving yellow cards for dirty play.

By half time however, Cambridge had lifted their game to notch up a score of 7-3; last years captain Ellie Walshe having proved that size doesn’t matter by netting several classy goals.

Exeter came out for the second half fighting and the checks were coming hard and fast. Cambridge’s temporary loss of possession and some strong drives from the only Exeter girl capable of a press-up led to the score gap closing.

Some great saves from Cambridge goalie Roshni ‘Best-in-show’ and an ingenious shot deflection by Gen Gotla’s thumb prevented Exeter getting the upper hand. A penalty then sucessfully put away by Cambridge ‘it- girl’ and Tab fashion star Check Warner raised the score further.

Bus driver, photographer and head cheerleader Karl Davis was clearly impressed with the performance, remarking that he was “proud to be supporting the Cambridge lacrosse ladies” and is now well versed in all the Cambridge gossip from picking up on bus journey banter.

Karl added ominously: “‘having seen the girls with sticks in hand on the pitch- I would advise any Cambridge boys not to mess with them.”

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Kingfishers 10 – 9 Oxford Brookes

Meanwhile, the Kingfishers (university seconds) defeated Oxford Brookes 10-9 at home, a warm-up for the real Oxford next week, whom they are meeting in BUCS.

With Brookes scoring the first goal it looked set to be a closer match than the lacrosse girls are currently used to.

However, they showed that they were definitely in the game with a quick return goal from Tab Deputy Editor Ellie Pithers, driving the ball left-handed through a startled Brookes defence.

A few panicked passes in attack led to some unnecessary turnovers for Brookes, however they failed to take advantage.

Punished for this, Amelia Duncanson took control of the situation and fired another goal into the back of the net. With a fair bit of ping ponging up and down the pitch each team scored like for like.

A beautiful assist from Ellie Jeffreys to Sam Davies, followed by another quickie from Jeffreys left the half time score at 6-4 Cambridge.

Returning onto the pitch, the Kingfishers were determined to keep their lead and show up the bitchy Brookes girls, who were attempting to rally themselves with cries about their victory over Oxford last week.

A well-worked goal on Brookes’ part, followed by another fast break, showed that they were very much still in the game and that Cambridge were going to have to up their ante if they were to avoid becoming the second team in Blue to succumb to their opposition’s skills. Which they did. Some superb double teams in the midfield, drove Brookes off the side line multiple times giving Cambridge the much needed turnovers which they managed to capitalize off again.

The star scorers of the match, Pithers, Davies and Duncanson all saw the ball into the back of the net again.

With two minutes to go, Brookes scored another, bringing the score to an excruciatingly close 10-9 t0 Cambridge.

A last drive on Brookes’ part lead to a nail-biting drive into the Cambridge defence, but a brilliant stop by new goalie Ruth was all that was required. The final whistle went, and the Kingfishers were secure.

The Blues next game is against Oxford in the BUCS league (Wednesday, 1.30 – see the Facebook event here). The Kingfisher’s face the Oxford 2nds away on the same day.

The violence at yesterday’s national student demo has sparked contrasting reactions in Cambridge.

At lunch time, a group of students smashed the windows of Conservative Party HQ and hurled objects at police outside the building, causing an estimated £1 million worth of damage.

CUSU president Rahul Mansigani said he was “appalled not only by the violence, but by the political stupidity of those who chose violence rather than peaceful protest today.”

And Juan Zober De Francisco, the outgoing president of King’s student union, said in his Facebook status: “if you resorted to violence today, you’re no friend of mine”, to which one friend replied “selfish twats”.

Not everyone agreed that the violence was a bad thing though. A third year historian at Corpus, who wished to remain anonymous, said Cambridge students were among those on the roof of Millbank Towers.

He said: “It was students from King’s who made the effigies of Cameron and Clegg. It’s been fantastic. The atmosphere is amazing and everybody is really nice.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1O2_PrdmjY

“The majority is a completely non-violent protest. I’m not really worried about violence against property or objects, smashing buildings is completely fine, it’s a great image of our anger. I’ve got no problem with that at all as long as nobody gets hurt.”

Luke Hawksbee, who recently failed in his bid to be the next CUSU Coordinator after more people voted to Re-Open Nominations, suggested that the violence was not necessarily a bad thing.

He said: “I could argue all day long about the effects of the Millbank affair, whether it was good or bad, etc. I’m annoyed, however/therefore, when people seemingly dismiss the whole debate as if it was completely self-evident that there are never any arguments for, and there are overwhelming arguments against, what took place.

“Surely the real “political stupidity” is glibly dismissing dilemmas through force of convention, etc?”

And former Cambridge University Socialist Students chair Ed Mustill wrote on his blog that “Without the Millbank action, the demonstration would likely have been reduced to a footnote in the daily news cycle”.

One student, who wished to remain anonymous, told The Tab: “I ended up inside Millbank Towers as it was all kicking off.

“The violence was horrible. My friend went in a few minutes before so I kind of had to follow her.

“The people smashing windows were a small minority, although there were lots of us in the building.”

CUSU estimates that of the 52,000 students who reportedly took to the streets, almost 400 were from Cambridge.

The Metropolitan Police have apologised for their handling of the incident.

Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson said: “We didn’t expect this level of violence. It’s not acceptable. It’s an embarrassment for London and for us. I am determined to have a thorough investigation into this matter.”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAGNJMQD1rA

Anger spreads when protesters on the roof  drop a fire extinguisher onto police below.

National Union of Students president Aaron Porter condemned the violence as “despicable”.

“This was not part of our plan,” he said. “This action was by others who have come out and used this opportunity to hijack a peaceful protest.”

Bath 3-20 Blues

After a 120 mile minibus journey, the lax Blues continued their impressive season by putting 20 goals past Bath last week.

Determined not to have wasted such a long journey, the team dominated the score card in a physical encounter.

After a manic first half which saw many a wild check (tackle) from the Bath side go shadily undetected by the referees, the Blues were leading 9-2, but this was not a fair reflection of the amount of possession the tab girls were maintaining.

A focussed team talk from current co-captain Laura Plant and former co-captains Gen Gotla and Georgie Hurt saw a much improved second half. Widening the attack set-up and implementing some stunning set plays, the Cambridge girls gave the back of the Bath net an absolute pounding.

All of the 5 freshers on the team scored at least once, and there was some fantastic pair work from the Blues’ Northern representatives – Alana Livesey and fresher Ellie Russel.

It was also noted that Georgie Hurt and fresher star Georgie Pritchard – who is enjoying a fantastic run of form at the moment, probably due to the colossal amount of Innocent veg pots she has been devouring after practice - demonstrated exceptional communication skills in attack.

The home team became increasingly frantic after the disallowing of three Cambridge goals and, spurred on by the drunken Bath men’s lacrosse team on the sideline, they scored once more.

However, comeback was impossible and Cambridge played a skilled and controlled game up until the final whistle.

A parting comment from one of the Bath men demonstrated how convincing a win Cambridge had pulled off - ‘I don’t like people from Cambridge, could you please leave Bath as quickly as possible.’  The incredulous Gen Gotla was ushered away before she was able to reprimand the young Somerset gentleman for his rudeness.

The Kingfishers (seconds) had a similarly successful day against Nottingham 2nd team, although they were given tea before their depature, rather than insults. Fit College star Antonia Gardner had a good game with some solid drives towards goal, and fellow fresher Ellie Jeffreys won virtually every single draw in the centre.

There were a few disputes over goals actually going in after some holes were founds in the Nottingham nets, but the final score was 20-8 to Cambridge; an indication of the cohesion of the team after half a term of training.

A Jesus grad has become the youngest member of Cambridge city council after defeating his Tory rival by 266 votes.

George Owers says he has realised his ambition of making the city a ‘Tory free zone’, with no Conservative councillors left on either the city or county councils.

And the former chairman of the Cambridge University Labour Club branded his Tory opponents “pathetic”, accusing them of employing “personal attacks and innuendo” during the campaign.

Owers out on the campaign trail sporting the ‘tie-not-quite-tied-up’ look.

After his victory, Owers told The Tab: “I think that this result shows, with the collapse of the Lib Dem vote relative to May this year and the swing against the Tories, that people are unhappy with this coalition government’s swingeing cuts.”

And Cambridge’s youngest councillor hit out at the student Conservative Association (CUCA) for their campaigning methods. He said: “the main Tory motivation in this election seemed to be personal and petty animosity towards me.

“Their personal attacks and innuendo did not work, including their pathetic attempt to attack me as a ‘student firebrand’. Indeed, one resident who spoke to me yesterday while going to vote said ‘That’s exactly what we need, young people with energy and conviction.’ Indeed, I think she voted for me because of the Tories’ attacks on me!”.

Owers and his campaign team celebrate victory.

Asked to comment on Owers’ accusations, CUCA Vice-Chairman Callum Wood told The Tab: “I wish Mr Owers every success in his councilship for Coleridge. Further to this, if he feels that CUCA or its members have been guilty of any wrongdoing then I can only offer my apologies.”

Owers has been a controversial figure in Cambridge student politics for some time. Last year he accused CUCA of “obsession with snobbish etiquette, expensive luxury and the supposedly superior social class” after they released a handbook recommending that members save water by drinking champagne.

And earlier this year he described his Tory opponents as “pathetic and underhand” after The Tab exclusively revealed that the ex-head of CUCA had sent fake emails to CULC, posing as a woman.

Owers’ victory last night will do nothing to relieve the tensions.

John’s 10 – 21 Jesus

John’s five year unbeaten run is finally over after Jesus defeated them 21-10 in front of a delirious crowd.

The result is the first time John’s have lost in the league since they were beaten by Pembroke in 2006, and therefore ends one of the most impressive sporting records in Cambridge.

Jesus put in a gritty and dogged performance in one of the most eagerly-anticipated and controversial games college rugby has ever seen.

The match was filled with errors and ill-discipline from both sides, but a large and vocal crowd were treated to a compelling game between two bitter rivals.

Jesus centre Russell Rammage. Click to enlarge. More photos by Tim Sherrington here.

Jesus began the game strongly, with Tambara’s kicking and some fierce rucking pinning John’s in their own 22.

Penalties were conceded, and after one narrow miss, Tambara made no mistake from the second to give Jesus an early lead.

There was no let-up in pressure, as the Jesus pack, to cries of “fuck him up” from the sidelines, forced another indiscretion from John’s and Tambara duly slotted the penalty over to leave the score at 0-6.

John’s response was strong, surging into the Jesus 22 and remaining there, playing the type of tight, powerful rugby that has brought them so much success. Jesus creaked, but resisted well, before a penalty saw John’s settle for 3 points.

John’s slot their first points away. Click to enlarge. More photos by Tim Sherrington here.

At 6-3 the match began to heat up, with scuffles breaking out all over the field amid accusations of biting and stamping at the breakdown.

It reached a climax as Jesus captain Jamie Miller found his face rearranged by an opponent’s studs. Thowls of “send the cunt off” from the Jesus fans, decided only a sin-binning was required.

Miller got himself stitched up and charged back into battle. The penalty kick was missed by Tambara, but a knock-on by John’s kept the pressure on.

Mulderig opted to go down the blind-side from the scrum, releasing Tambara, who powered through two tackles to touch down in the corner. Although the conversion was missed, Jesus had opened an imposing eight point lead.

The home crowd look on as Jesus score. More photos by Tim Sherrington here.

The remainder of play to half-time was marred by handling errors from both sides, and both teams went into their huddles aware of the importance of the next 40 minutes in the context of the whole season.

It was Jesus who began the second half strongly, winning a penalty and placing John’s under pressure on their own line. However, the tenacity of their defence at the breakdown, something that told increasingly as the match wore on, saw them win a penalty and clear their lines.

To the echoing cries of their increasingly desparate fans, John’s powered upfield, playing simple rugby and slowly building momentum.

Jesus found themselves overwhelmed by the power of their opponents, and penalties were conceded. The inevitable try eventually came, as another pick-and-drive move saw the Red Boys power over for the try. A superb conversion left the match tantalisingly poised at 11-10.

John’s celebrate their only try. More photos by Tim Sherrington here.

Jesus were clearly rattled, and errors crept into their play. Tambara kicked the ball straight out from outside his own 22, and the ball was frequently dropped by nervous backs.

John’s sensed this weakness and upped their own game; Robert Wells leading the pack upfield with a series of powerful drives. John’s found themselves continually undone however by their full-back’s inability to kick tactically and apply pressure, and the Jesus back three were able gain the upper hand, releasing the pressure the John’s forwards had built up.

With little over 10 minutes to go, Jesus once again came back strongly, fighting their way into their opponents’ 22 and winning a scrum. After several powerful moves they inched over the line, only for the ball to be held up. The pressure told however, and a penalty saw Tambara grab the 3 points.

At 14-10, John’s knew they were far from out of it, and a couple of penalties saw them dangerously close to the Jesus line.

John’s win at the lineout. More photos by Tim Sherrington here.

Finally Jesus broke free, with Chris Blucke receiving another woeful kick from the Red Boys’ full-back and evading 3 John’s defenders to bring him close to the line. Jesus didn’t panic, and recycled the ball to unleash the backs, and sensing a gap, substitute Mike Stevens stepped inside and dived over the line.

Pandemonium broke out amongst the Jesus players and fans, and with only 4 minutes to go, John’s sensed the game was up.

Visibly deflated, sloppy handling from John’s saw a dropped ball and Blucke once more hared for the corner, only to lose control of the ball allowing John’s to hack the ball out of play.

The following scrum, with last play being called by the referee, saw one Jesus forward remark “You guys are easier than your girls“. The ball was knocked-on, but the final whistle sounded and the ecstatic Jesus fans hurtled onto the pitch.

Jesus fans invade the pitch at the final whistle. More photos by Tim Sherrington here.

It was by no means a vintage performance from either side, but both gave their all, and the victory was narrower than the 21-10 scoreline suggested.

John’s edged the contact area, but other than one powerful centre had nothing to offer in attack.

Both their full-back and fly-half kicked poorly, and were unable to provide the forwards with enough opportunities to attack at close range.

Jesus were at times scrappy and jittery in attack, but were stout in defence and clinical when within range of the John’s line. The margin was small, but Jesus won’t mind that on one of the finest days in their club’s history.

After the game, victorious Jesus skipper Jamie Miller told The Tab: “It’s a huge achievement, not just for the boys, but for all the guys who’ve finished on the wrong side of the scoreline against John’s in the past, and for everyone in the College.

“John’s are the Everest of college rugby – as we all saw today. But unlike some other colleges, Jesus has a great spirit about it, and that showed both on the pitch and on the sidelines today. It was telling that so many Old Boys came back to watch the match, and the pitch invasion at the end was just pure passion from everyone.

Mathonwy Thomas and his team applaud Jesus. More photos by Tim Sherrington here.

“The respect Johns showed at the end was exemplary – from their Blues and Captain on down. That’s the spirit in which college rugby should be played. Hats off to them. A class act.”

John’s captain Mathonwy Thomas said he was similarly proud of his men and the way they conducted themselves: “No-one gave up, everyone committed themselves fully and everyone showed exactly how much it means to pull on a shirt for the Red Boys.

“I think Jesus ended up on top because they were ultimately more clinical than we were. As I’ve said I’m proud of every player, and am not picking on anyone, but it was the small errors that made the difference out there today.

“Jesus played well, so credit to them for that, but we definitely had our chances to win today.”

Asked what the result means for the league, Thomas said he was still hopeful: “Of course we can still win. If (or when) we beat Jesus and if someone else draws or wins against them then its back to us. It would take a fool to write the Red Boys off after today.”

Miller echoed Thomas’ sentiment: “It’s early doors. There are six teams in this league – not two – and we still have to play Downing and Johns once more each. A lot can change over the course of the season, teams go in and out of form. It’s not over until the last day of the season.”

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The other Division 1 results

Downing 0 – 5 Queens’

Trinity 0 – 31 Magdalene

]]> http://cambridgetab.co.uk/sport/jesus-down-johns-to-end-unbeaten-run/feed 23 http://cambridgetab.co.uk/sport/ready-blues-sap-engineers http://cambridgetab.co.uk/sport/ready-blues-sap-engineers#comments Thu, 07 Oct 2010 18:15:31 +0000 Tab Reporter http://cambridgetab.co.uk/?p=28727

Cambridge 29- 15 Royal Engineers

Last night the Blues beat a well drilled Royal Engineers side, the champions of the Army league, with some occasionally devastating rugby.

The game began slowly, both teams making a number of basic errors early on.

Indeed, it took a while for the blues to warm up, and it was not until the end of the first half when captain and Varsity match hero Jimmy Richards ignited the game, combining with fly half Greg Cushing to dance through the Sapper’s defence for a superb try.

Until that moment of inspiration, the first half had been a terse and at times scrappy affair. The Blues did manage to generate some quick ball, but lacked any venom, Cushing’s one dash that set up Cambridge’s first try was the only highlight of the half before Richards went over just before the whistle.

Fortunately the Engineers, whilst solid in defence, were desperately conservative in attack, leaving their fly half with no option other than to spray desperately wild kicks aimlessly into the Cambridge half.

The second half however was a completely different game, with both sides becoming more adventurous and growing in confidence.

Almost straight after the break winger Paul Lowden ruptured the Engineers line, putting over Fred Burdon who finished off an easy two on one to extend the Blues lead to 22- 10.

The Engineers swiftly regrouped and camped themselves doggedly on the Blues’ line, consistently heaping pressure on the Cambridge defence. Nevertheless, the Blues defence held firm, flanker Tom Stanton leading from the front with a crunching tackle against the Sapper’s nippy little Fijian scrum half.

Whilst the Engineers had most of the possession, the Blues were shattering on the counter attack. A burst of quick hands sent Loudon on a brilliant run almost the entire length of the pitch from which he scored under the posts, giving the Blues a 19 point cushion.

The Engineers did not give up, answering the Cambridge try with one of their own, their rather meaty centre barrelling over from short range.

The Sappers then turned up the heat further by introducing a oversize Jonah Lomu-esque winger to the game who, on the one occasion he actually caught the ball, galloped up most of the pitch, bowling over Blues defenders as he went before captain Jimmy Richards, a midget in comparison, saved the try by cutting the big man in two with a vital tackle.

Realising that this man mountain of a winger was having some success and making ground, the Engineer’s new tactic seemed to be to pass it to him whenever they could. However, he was easily contained by some good defence, and the Blue’s again pounced on the chance of the counter attack, with three-time Blue Sandy Reid demonstrating his magic hands.

They were however, unable to convert again, but the Blues should be proud of their solid defence and the comfortable score line against a strong and well drilled opposition.

The Blues continue their Varsity preparations against Blackheath on Wednesday 13th at Grange Road (kick off 19.45). The Varsity Sevens tournament takes place this Saturday from 10.00 at Grange Road.

Cambridge’s cyclists have reaffirmed their status as the best in the country.

Cambridge University Cycling Club (CUCC) clinched the British Universities and Colleges Sports Championships (BUCS) for the third year running with their recent domination of the Track Cycling Championships.

Llewellyn Kinch of Jesus cleaned up at the most recent BUCS competition winning the 4km individual pursuit gold medal, as well as gold in the points race and a further gold in the individual one kilometer time trial.

He was backed up by James Hawkins, who was second fastest in the individual pursuit, and Toby Parnell, who took third spot in that same event as well as bronze in the sprint, going on to win team gold with Kinch overall.

Kinch winning the 4km individual pursuit.

George Bate of Cambridge came in second behind Kinch in the points race to further bump up Cambridge’s BUCS points tally.

Toby Weatherall was second in the sprint and fourth in the individual pursuit, giving Cambridge a one, two, three, four ahead of Birmingham’s fastest rider (who had a BUCS champion lycra skinsuit made up in anticipation of his victory).

Weatherall and Hawkins took team silver to complete a very successful day of racing and secure Cambridge’s firm position at the top of the BUCS cycling table. Full results are here.

Earlier in the year Andrew Nichols, Toby Weatherall and Wojciech Szlachta ensured CUCC’s BUCS campaign set off on the right pedal stroke by winning team silver in the Hill Climb, Nichols coming second overall.

Weatherall (left) beating Parnell in all-Cambridge Sprint semi-final in the track champs.

Nichols, Parnell and Mark Holt then earned Cambridge another team silver at the Cyclocross Championship in Lent term. Weatherall, Parnell and Dan Ahearn snuck to BUCS Gold in the Team Time Trial, raced over 50km in a time of just under one hour and eight minutes, beating Durham by three seconds.

Tom Morris, Ahearn and Weatherall took team gold, destroying the compeition in the 10 mile Time Trial in May term, with Morris coming second overall.

Morris then won the Varsity match and BUCS Gold in the 25 mile Time Trial (averaging nearly 29 mph), with Ahearn and Hawkins helping Cambridge to a team silver. Good performances from, Hawkins, Tom Durno and Szlachta made the Light Blues’ presence felt in the BUCS Road Race earning a further BUCS team silver.

Similarly, Parnell and Phil Buckham-Bonnet both came in the top 20 in the BUCS Mountain Biking to earn their half-blues, held in Dumfries in a chilly Lent term, but also did not score any points.

The Track Champs provided the ultimate triumph for Cambridge, sending the Light Blues above the rest of the country’s universities and retaining the championship in style.

As May Week continues, The Tab looks back on a short and sharp four days of bumping and near misses that concluded with Pembroke W1 maintaining their untouchable position of Head of the River.

Nonetheless, Downing W1 made quite a concerted effort to gain Headship. Overbumping Jesus W1 on the first day was quite an epic (and rare for the 1st division) achievement, jumping from 5th to 2nd place in a mere few strokes. Now set up to take a crack at the Pembroke machine, Downing disappointingly failed over 3 days to bump the Headship crew. Despite the unfortunate result (because, let’s face it, we all want to see Pembroke W1 fail at something, we all like a bit of schadenfreude) Downing look set to be tough competition next year. Better luck next time girls.

Strong performances were shown by Christ’s W1 earning blades, and with Tit Hall, Newnham and Catz working their way upwards.

Jesus W2, as predicted, failed to maintain their spot as the only W2 crew in the 1st division, losing their position to King’s W1. An embarrassing result considering King’s failed to catch even Churchill on the way down. Pembroke W2 also failed to make progress in the W1 division having moved up the 2nd division to sandwich boat.

However, despite being knocked out of the 1st division, Jesus W2 surprised Selwyn W1 by rowing over on Friday and only being bumped on Saturday at the Railway Bridge under ‘dubious’ circumstances. Reports indicate that the umpires were left having to deal with an ‘agitated German’ disputing the Selwyn ‘bump’. A decision was made even harder to make when, according to onlookers, it looked like the bow of Selwyn W1 caught a crab close to bumping. Possibly something to avoid doing in the future.

Further down in the second division, Emma W2 continued their standard blades quest despite their stroke catching a crab off the start at one point. Can someone please bump them next time? Newnham W2 also put out a strong performance, bumping up to the second division.

A game is being played across Cambridge. The aim depends on the perspective: for those organising the many May Balls and June Events, the objective is to create a system that keeps the crashers out. For the rest, the objective is to beat the system. There are no rules. It is a game of cat and mouse that has been played for as long as anyone can remember. And, as with all good games, the fun is in the playing; the end result of standing there at the Survivors' Photo forms just a small part of the enjoyment attached to crashing a ball.

From organizing a large event with professional guards, walkie-talkies, stewards, wristbands and fencing to using a set of DJ headphones to cheat the system at a recent May Ball, playing both sides of the game has been fun. It’s given me insights into the different aspects of this game. 

I broke into Jesus May Ball this week and proceeded to steal wristbands. By the end of the night I had the much-cherished ‘Access All Areas’ pass in addition to a Performer’s wristband and a Worker’s one. I also stole a Guest wristband, but just for keepsakes. I spent part of the evening chilling backstage with Sub Focus and Mr Hudson. I wouldn’t queue for drinks at bars; instead I went behind the bar and poured my own concoctions. 

The night before Jesus I was already performing at Emma’s June Event, so I set myself the challenge of breaking a friend in. Within twenty minutes, his name was on the VIP guest list and he arrived at the Porter’s Lodge and was ushered inside by the very helpful Committee (who actually called him to coordinate his reception). He didn’t even have to queue. I now have a free ticket to next year’s King’s Affair because I’ll be offering them advice on their security.

It’s impossible to count the number of ways to break into a ball, but over the years I’ve seen and used some pretty imaginative ones. ‘Breaking in’ is a misnomer – most end up cheating the system by finding a flaw, and there almost always is one. Breaking in attempts usually end up falling into one of two general categories:

Firstly, there’s what I call the ‘security breach.’ This is the force-majeure approach, involving high levels of climbing and running. It requires athleticism and/or large amounts of luck. Knowledge of the layout and grounds of the College is essential. Once you’ve found a gap in the security and made your move, remember you’ve made your decision and you have to give it your all if you’re to succeed.

Then, there’s ‘the delivery boy.’ Running and climbing is too crass for me. I prefer using persuasion or subtlety to get in. The most common flaw is a lack of communication between the organisers. A Ball is a stressful event, and if you want to break into one, use this to your advantage. Time is always on your side. You have all night to get in; the organisers are working on a strict schedule.

Some complain about the ethics of breaking into a ball. As a crasher, I see it as a game, one that’s both fun and rewarding. Those who complain that if everyone tried crashing a Ball we wouldn’t have Balls of the same scale are missing the point. Keep your logic; while the ‘free-rider’ model makes theoretical sense, it doesn’t apply to reality. Whenever there are great parties there will be people who will try and crash. The two are inseparable, and to pretend like they aren’t is foolish. People who organise parties know this, and they work within these confines to create a system that attempts to keep crashers out. 

At the end of the day, even if you don’t get in, the process can be just as great. You’re practically guaranteed a story to remember. After all, it’s the stories of adventure, excitement and fun that will make your May Week.