ROB YOUNG gets a semi for Kelly Rowland’s shiny legs.

ROB YOUNG… erm… MMMBop… something about ba doo bop… erm… oh dear.

ROB YOUNG is tweeting so much that he is being chased by an anthropomorphic cat. #sufferinsuccotash

X Factor contestants, this is ROB YOUNG, you are live on The Tab, please do not say ‘fuck’ or ‘bugger’.

ROB YOUNG has heard about a new dance craze. Listen to him, we’re sure you’ll be amazed.

ROB YOUNG wants to bring The Habibis back from the dead, but he can’t work out this last symbol. It’s like a bird, a stork!

ROB YOUNG told Kelly who told Tulisa who told Louis who told Gary who told Misha B that she was a total bitch.

ROB YOUNG is bored, but he’s putting it down to all the putting it down.

The Tab’s resident X Factor expert ROB YOUNG talks pet lions and Cambridge girls with everyone’s favourite 19th century German composer.

ROB YOUNG notes that strange things happen when you’re going round The Twist.